Fight For Survival

[Marlee]

Chapter One - All Alone Tonight

In the far distance I heard a small howl, a lonley howl. It drowned on and on. The echo kept ringing in my ears, that one howl, I wondered where it came from, what it came from. Thoughts raced in and out of my mind, what if the animals was wounded, orphaned, alone. Maybe it was a female wolf who just lost her pup, or crying for protection from enemy packs. I looked out my window, there was only farm for as long as I could see. Or so I thought.

[wolfgirl159357]

oooo go on

[Cowgirls Rule]

Mind if I critique?

[Marlee]

Nope not at all.


Chapter 2

I crawled out of bed the next morning. I heard my brother pouring milk over his coco puffs. I slipped on my Carrhart coat and tip toed over to the door that led to or garage.

"Jason." I heard my mother say. I stopped mid step.

"Ya mom." I answered turning aroud.

''Before you go galavanting across the fields, I want you to milk Chance and Rosie - and eat some breakfast."

"Aww Mom, Do I have ta?"

"Jason Charles, sit down and eat!"
I trudged over to my seat and fell into my chair. I ripped to milk carton out of my brother hand and poured it onto my cereal. I ate quickly and ran out to the barn with the silver bucket in my left hand and a stool in my right.

[Cowgirls Rule]

First, seperate all dialouge by a new paragraph:

She looked up at the sprite.

"How...did you know?" She asked.

"Simple, I've known you all of your life," The sprite replied.

Don't start a sentece with because, and, or, the word or.

Check all grammar.

Make sure you don't have any run on sentences:

She ran away from the farm terrified for her life she thought that someone was coming for her.

Correction:

She ran away from the farm, terrified for her life. She thought that someone was coming for her.

Add vivid words like: worn, tattered, musky, drenched, ext.

[Marlee]

I know I will.

[Cowgirls Rule]

Also, spell check all of your work!

[Marlee]

OK Thank YOu

[Cowgirls Rule]

No problem.