Help!

[shaggydoggy]

Ok so here it goes if people like it i will write more

Chap One(kinda short):

The shriek of an alarm filled the air a war was going on.Caption James Smith was wounded."So this is it for me?" James's life flashed before his eyes just this morning birds were singing and trees were dancing.Now trees were lifeless and bids fled the island."Sir!" first mate Grady Elerson said."We are going to get out of here!!" Grady said."No leave me.And that's and order!"Mr.Smith said."I'm not going to leave you." and with that Grady dragged James to a carpet raft*a flying carpet that also floats on he water* and grabbed to ends of the thread and flew out.Grady then pressed a sertin area on the rug and mate it fly streight and luckly Gray grabbed a map and a first aid kit. Grady then handed James the map and said "Here find the city of Dole.There we can find the nightwolf known as Leona,while i stitch up your leg and chest.".James then asked "Whats a nightwolf?"Grady then sighed and said "A nightwolf is like a tall beautiful or handsome elf and a wolf and their facess gorgeous i once fell inlov..." then Grady stopped and continued to get the supplies out."Then said "They have dark fur and saber like teeth and like I mentiond beautifuk facess liek angels". "Oh wow" breethed James."Now pleause let me work in peace" Grady said."Of course." James reaplied."Uh pleause stop talking and tell me where to go!" a snottey voice said out of the blue."Who that!?!?!" both men said at once....

plz reaplie if you dont or do like it:D

[Chloe Taylor]

It's actually pretty good!

[shaggydoggy]

thanks

[Cowgirls Rule]

There's a few errors. The story line iteself is good. Rember when people talk, you start a new paragraph.