When your best friend likes your ex..

Fawn · Joined: 28 Nov 2006 Posts: 550

Hm. Yea...she just called me and told me that shes falling for my ex. I dont really know how to feel..I mean shes got guts for telling me thats for sure, and its not like I didnt anticipate this coming, just a little bit..He doesnt talk to me because I left him when I moved out of town. We were perfect...he was the one person I loved and still love..and she knows exactly how I feel because we talk about it alot and she has the same situation with missing her ex.

Now, him and her were talking alot and people were starting to raise eyebrows (surprisingly I was on her side with this, not thinking it was a big deal because seeing as shes my best friend, I didnt really think she'd pull anything on me) and he has a steady girlfriend now anyway.

So basically...I left him and really wrecked him, but I didnt want to go, we tried long distance but it didnt work and he found another girl. When I moved back it was basically too late to make things work with us again because he liked this new girlfriend of his. He liked me too but didnt want to hurt her and was kind of spitefull of me leaving in the first place. Anyways, now my best friend tells me that shes falling for him..

wtf.

I'm not over him really. Like I...really do love him still. I love him to the point of wanting him to be happy with whoever he chooses...but my best friend? How should I feel towards her? Should I lose her over a guy or do I even want her around if shes going to fall for my ex's? I dont know...I dont want to be immature, but I dont want to give her a freebie either. I'm not going to rat her out and tell him because he's just going to look down on me for that. Do I tell his current girlfriend? Or do I leave it completely? Do I leave her? I'm not really sure...

odinsdottir · Joined: 12 Sep 2007 Posts: 2856

The only advice I have is simply to let go.

He is your EX... He doesnt belong to you at all, so who he is with is none of your business. SHE is your best friend... who SHE is with should not affect that. It is neither your place nor your right to interfere between EITHER of them and their respective significant others... any more than they have the right to interfere between you and YOUR significant other.

That said, step back, take a deep breath, and resolve your own issues with the past. Sometimes we carry baggage from the past that stop us thinking clearly about the present, and to me this sounds like one of those pieces of baggage. Think it through, being honest with yourself, then leave it in the past where it belongs and move on in the present.

odinsdottir

Fawn · Joined: 28 Nov 2006 Posts: 550

hmm, yes well last night that's exactly what I told her, that he doesn't belong to me and I love him to the point of my wanting him to be happy with whoever he chooses, even if it sucks for me Confused

. So I said she could pursue him if thats what she wanted and I wouldn't be upset enough for it to ruin our friendship. I might not like it but that's the right thing to do. She cant help her feelings..nobody can help their feelings. Took me a while to sort through all of the options in my head but thats the conclusion I came to last night and I feel good about it Smile

Cecelia · Joined: 16 Dec 2006 Posts: 1487

that's tough Fawn. I really don't have any advice and definitely not any experience to share.............lol It sounds like you're on the right track with the situation and I really hope that everything turns out alright.
Besides it's really great of your friend and you to be open with each other. She doesn't sound like somebody worth losing Smile

Fawn · Joined: 28 Nov 2006 Posts: 550

lol thanks Cecelia Smile

Yea shes nice...it was cool of her to be honest with me..well when she finally did tell me, she was just not so truthfull before lol. But can't say I didnt sort of see it coming, I just trusted her word when she told me it wasnt like that at all, and defended her against everyone else that was raising eyebrows, even his current girlfriend was starting to get mad that they were hanging out so much and now I feel kinda stupid for telling everyone not to worry lol. They were right Confused

But...thats the way it isss!

melrox333 · Joined: 19 Oct 2008 Posts: 45

Well I think your gettin on the right track.

But I have had experiences with that to and at least she told you she liked him instead of just goin with him. You know?

And my bff did that with 3 guys i went out with and followed my tracks and went out with the same guy the next week and yeah. . . I felt some hurt but trust me from my experiences, guys are not worth losing your best friend. And i'm sorry your goin through it to but in the end it will work out Smile

Just don't think about losing your best friend it will make you feel worse.

And think about your ex being happy with someone and you will be happy. And I know it sounds hard but in the end you never know. . . you guys might meet up again Smile

Hope this helps

If you have any questions I am open to share an experience I had like yours it could help Smile

melrox333

SarahCun · Joined: 12 Apr 2008 Posts: 266

Ouch:[ Don't lose your friend! As much as you still love your ex, you've already lost him. What he does no longer concerns you, unless he decides he wants you back. And who your friend likes shouldn't ruin your friendship. You should support her as best as you can:] If YOU liked him, then she's making a good choice!