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Oh. My. God.
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Angelicious



Joined: 31 Mar 2007
Posts: 4801

PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 11:05 pm    Post subject: Oh. My. God. Reply with quote

Sorry for the biblical reference. But 'gosh' does not cover this.

Okay, breaking hiatus. Don't really care. This is a difficult situation to explain...
Let me start off with this. We live in an upper middle-class area of the mid-west in the USA. My older sister, now 27, got marred in July of last summer to Stanley, whom she'd known for three years before that. Stanley lives in an entirely different world. He grew up in an extremely large family - he's 29 and still has great-great-grandparents. His family is very poor. Just to get groceries, the children (they are very numerous in his family...) they would switch houses and families and schools and, basically, lives EVERY week. Family was really the only thing they had.
Now, his Aunt Kara is a suicidal woman with five children. (Currently.) Two are twins (main subjects of this story) and the youngest and oldest of the five siblings don't even have a five and a half year age difference. After attempting to drown herself, the children were sent to different custodies in late July. My sister and Stanley, being seen by the court as being the most financially stable got temporary custody of the twins, now 9 years old, since they refused to go to one place without the other there, too.
After only six months with them, the twins basically decided they would never see their birth mother again (something they were completely fine with), began calling my sister and Stanley 'mom' and 'dad' (Stanley's there cousin, if you didn't catch that - it would take me quite a while to adjust to that), and decided that they would finish growing up as more a part of our side of the family than of Stanley's.
Stanley's family is highly religious, by the way.
Now, my sister, Stanley and the twins went to Stanley's family for Thanksgiving. They came here for Christmas. Then, they agreed to reverse that each year.

...

Fair, right?
Wrong. According to the twins' grandparents, anyway.

...

So, today was Stanley's birthday. Before he met my sister, he had never had so much as a birthday cake. He went to... "Celebrate" with the aforementioned grandparents. They just called here about an hour ago. The family took away the twins because they came to our house for Christmas and didn't go there. The twins didn't have ANY of their things, school is in session next week, they have no money for school supplies, and they're in an entirely different school district. They liked it in my sister's & Stanley's custody. They were content to never see their mother again, and now they were basically forced back into it.
Not only that, but we can, according to them, NEVER FREAKING SEE THEM AGAIN.

Their birth mother didn't do so much as call them on their birthday. She didn't send anything for Christmas. She didn't do anything to help them when they switched custody. And now, she pretty much kidnaps them to have them back.
The really bad part is that, since it was temporary custody, we think it was legal. So there might be nothing they can do about it.

Stanley got furious. Rightfully so, in my book. I mean, it was his birthday and he was being stripped of custody for absolutely no reason of the only children they had.
He was actually quite reasonable about his anger. He explained the situation through their eyes, and the twins even openly admitted to preferring being with Stanley. They openly admitted that life with their birth mother was worse - to their birth mother.
And you know how they responded?
They disowned him.
He is no longer in their family. We are no longer related to them in any way. It is legally impossible to ever get custody again. So far, the law cannot help them - the twins or the newlyweds. On his birthday. A week and a half Christmas. Right before school begins again.

Legal kidnapping? And people say in-laws aren't awful.

...

Sorry. I just really need to vent. It's this plus many other things that I'm dealing with that I don't feel like typing out. This just pushed me over the edge. Way, way over the edge.

But on the plus side, I made cookies for them. And if you read this whole freaking thing, you can have one Very Happy[/i]
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Amara



Joined: 28 Nov 2006
Posts: 2274

PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 11:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*Munch Munch Munch* Mmm Cookie, You're a good cook Angel Very Happy

That is 100% Awful, i mean if my daughter tryed to kill herself and her nephew got custody id be over the moon!!! atleast FAMILY got the kids..

Some people are crazy ...
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shadow_spinner



Joined: 28 Nov 2006
Posts: 600

PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 11:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That is horrible. Really, truely horrid. I can't even imagine... Not to get spiritual or anything, but I'd pray for those poor children. I'm speechless. In shock. No words.

After staring numbly at my keyboard for 30 seconds, I can't think of anything else to say. Makes me glad to live how I do. *hugs* I hope your family gets the whole thing sorted out, hun. And try to take a breather from it all, life can get so darn horrible some times, it seems like it'll swallow you up.
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ChocolateGal



Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 1868

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 12:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*munches on another cookie* wow i'm getting scraed. Atleast my parents aren't suisidal (sp?). Those poor kids. Being 12 i would be really scared if i was in their position. Amara's right some people are really weird these days...
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Misty Glen



Joined: 01 Nov 2007
Posts: 1393

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Arrow

Last edited by Misty Glen on Sun Mar 02, 2008 4:13 am; edited 1 time in total
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Sterling



Joined: 14 Aug 2007
Posts: 2790

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

O.O

*munches on cookie* All of that to happen on a BIRTHDAY?!? That's completely and horribly wrong. I'm still a little confuzzled with the law part and all..but to me, if I was in your place hearing about it, I'd be pretty fumed.
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ozark-crafter



Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 40

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 11:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seems to me it is mostly the kids in these situations that get the short end of the stick! And thanks for the cookie. Yummy. I will and shall pray for them. All I can do. Wink
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Queso



Joined: 11 Mar 2007
Posts: 3597

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 11:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with Misty, talk to the police and mabey gat a lawer. What happened didn't sound legal to me. I bet if you put up a legal battle you would win and those poor girls could get out of that situation! I really hope everything works out for the best...
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hgo



Joined: 11 Feb 2007
Posts: 122

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What you need to get is a child advocit(sp?) lawer. There job is to do what is best for the kids in things like this. What happened is not legal even if it was temporary custady.
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White Frost



Joined: 02 May 2007
Posts: 329

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yep its not legal to take the kids away even if it is temporary custody unless the judge that ordered said that the birth mother and/or grandparents. Have your sister and her husband get a Child Advocate lawyer like hgo said it will help a ton when it comes to getting the twins back.
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Requin



Joined: 28 Nov 2006
Posts: 147

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 1:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with Misty, also children at a certain age are allowed to choose who they want to live with in cases like these. The fact that your brother-in-law & sister took in the children, with the agreement of the court too, will be in their favor as long as they provide a stable environment for the twins to live in. Heck, your sister & brother-in-law might even be able to get a restraining order against his family or have supervised visiting hours set in place if wished. As the others have said, have them talk to a lawyer even if it is a pro bono one.
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Chilly Girl



Joined: 15 Apr 2007
Posts: 1712

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 5:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I normaly can't concentrate on more than a few sentances, but I was paying attention all through it, takes cookie. I have no idea what to say, and if I did say anything much, I probably coudnt do much about it. Anyway, I am truly sorry, and I hope in some way, all goes well. Sad
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Vitani



Joined: 28 Nov 2006
Posts: 6665

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 10:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really wish I could offer some advice - But the things on my mind have already been said so no point repeating them.

All I can offer is a warm *hug*, an open PM box to vent in any time, and a prayer for the safety and wellbeing of the children...

Whats happened to the family is just...Not right. By any stretch of the imagination Sad
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Galen



Joined: 24 Mar 2007
Posts: 770

PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 4:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Best of luck sorting through this, and I hope that there is something the legal system can do to help out your sister and her husband, and, obviously, the kids. If it doesn't work out, maybe the stable, loving environment that they provided to those children will give the kids the tools they need to remove themselves from that environment when they are old enough. Your sister's husband sounds like he found a way to not perpetuate his families poor choices. Hopefully, the children will be able to duplicate his successes.
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Tanitsja



Joined: 28 Mar 2007
Posts: 1174

PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 1:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

a quick google and a brief scan makes me think that my logical thougths on the subject may have some weigth to it...though i dunno for sure as i dont know the US law

however what i think, is that disowning would have more to do with will's, inheritment and such, and only for the person who did disown someone

as such i dont think that blood bonds can be disowned, and that a father, mother, sister or whatnot disowning the cousin, would have no say on the fact he is blood related to the kids, and his equal rigth to other relatives if the mother is declared unsuited, to aply for custody

that would more be seen as a family disput, as it seems illogial that you can disown someone on behalf of others

so that if it should have anything to say, it wouldnt matter how many of the family members disowned him, as long as the twins themself didnt...because they then acknowledge him as a legal relative

and even if the custody was temp, i agree with what said above, i doubt the relatives themself can undo it, the court has to if the court instated it...i wouldnt deem it imposible that if that is the case, if they filled a report that the police could forcefully move the kids back to them untill it had been sorted in court

this site of oversigth of dif types of custody terms, also more or less claim that in 9 out of 10 cases temp custody is often but the first step to permanent custody, and that the temp is not as temporary as it say

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/typesofcustody.php
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