Dragon Quest 2 (Discovering the Water Dragon)

[Bratterratt]

Last year I posted the chapters from my book, Dragon Quest (Search for the Air Dragon). I got LOTS of critique and comments on the story, chapter after chapter, so I thought I'd post some of the sequel I'm writing. Keep in mind, this is a full length book, so each chapter may take some time to read. I would appreciate all the critique you've got! I'll post the beginning of the first chapter here, so you can get a taste of what it'll be like. If you'd like me to post the rest of Chapter One, let me know! I'd be glad to share my book!

[Note: If you have not read the first book, you can PM me and I will message you chapter by chapter. It might help explain some things not mentioned in this, the sequel.]

Chapter One: Repetition (Remember, this is only the beginning of the first chapter.)

It was dark, like it always was. Coryn stood alone amongst the thin trees, once again in the Forest of Shadows. The usual thoughts of confusion did not enter the young man’s mind; he had grown used to this.

The familiar, chalky parchment skin that shone eerily in the moonlight still made Coryn shudder, as it did each and every time. The ebony claws shone, but they were no longer outstretched, as if the Serpent understood that his tries were becoming useless.

“Coryn,” –the voice slithered, the only thing it ever said; his name.

Something caught Coryn’s eyes and as he looked down, Coryn realized that this dream was different than the others. The long, silver blade of a sword glinted in the boy’s hand, its hilt constructed of a strange white gold. The sword was simple, there were no jewels embedded in the metal, nothing but the razor sharp blade that rested by Coryn’ side.

Looking up, Coryn grimaced ever so slightly. The Serpent’s face was half exposed in the shady night light, a fearsome, devilish sight. A long violet curtain of hair hung to the creature’s back, the bloody color only making the Serpent’s sharp facial features more frightening. Its thin mouth curled up slowly into a sneer, exposing the glimmering, pointed teeth.

“Follow me, Coryn. It’s your only chance,” –the Serpent’s hissing whisper soothed, the words taking Coryn by surprise. The dream was changing, no longer like the others before it.

“No, I will not. I have others who depend on me,” –Coryn responded, tripping over the words as he did so, though his determination was strong, it was unusually waning. When he spoke, he was no longer so sure.

“Not any longer, Coryn,” –the Serpent replied with a cruel chuckle, gesturing to the other side of the moonlit clearing with his talon like hand.

“No,” –Coryn choked suddenly, falling hard to his knees as if drug upon by an unseen force.

In the grass, the mangled body of a beautiful white stag lay, its once lush, satin coat splattered with its own blood. The guardian’s eyes were open, lifeless and coal black, staring, empty at the crumpled Coryn. Beside the buck, another corpse lay, its thick silvery pelt reeking of the sickly sweet scent of more blood. The large cat-like paws that sprawled beneath the body only made Coryn moan with grief.

The boy shut his eyes tightly, hanging his blonde head in his hands. He did not wanting to see the two other mangled bodies, for he already knew who they would be.

“Yes, Coryn. You have no other choice now. Join me,” –the Serpent summoned, reaching out his poisonous talons towards the distraught boy, beckoning.

Coryn looked up, his heart aching as if it was being torn from his chest, still kneeling in agony. Weakly, the young man shook his head, a last attempt. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

“Think about it, Coryn. I’ll be waiting,” –the voice hissed in a farewell, as the last word tapered off to no more than a whisper.

The boy’s head dropped once more; the Serpent was gone. The sword felt heavy in his hands and Coryn watched in unspeaking distress, as slowly the sparkling blade turned to a satanic crimson red.

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Let me know what you think and if you'd like the rest of the chapter!