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The Chosen(New Story)

 
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Heather



Joined: 28 Nov 2006
Posts: 5915

PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 1:41 pm    Post subject: The Chosen(New Story) Reply with quote

I've been reading to many vampire stories lately that I've started thinking like that. So, I was just thinking today and I thought about a new story and I wanted to know what you think, since I'm bored like that Smile

So anyway, here it goes:


Chapter 1: Morgan

Morgan Belleview walked... no strutted, her way down the small hallway of Blackjack High School in Las Vegas, Nevada. It wasn't just her superstar looks, her model confidence, melodic voice, like water running over rocks, and, well, everything else that just made her different. True, her hair, the color of fire, light and orange mixed with red, a color that was too difficult to describe, was part of the reason why girls envied her and boys adored her. Even if you didn't realize that it was her from her fire-colored her, the smirk that was permanently plastered on her face, or even her golden skin, you'd know from her eyes. They were dark and mysterious, a smoky blue and on the outside of each iris, as well as in the middle, were dark rings. Everyone knew she was different, all though they didn't know the half of it. You see, Morgan wasn't just your average beautiful and mysterious girl. Morgan Belleview, with her superstar looks, model confidence, melodic voice, and dark smoky blue eyes, was a vampire.


Whatcha think?
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Bratterratt



Joined: 07 Jul 2008
Posts: 7533

PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 4:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like! Very well written and descriptive! Keep going with it!
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Heather



Joined: 28 Nov 2006
Posts: 5915

PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 6:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks! It might take a little bit to get abck to it since I didn't really think about this one until today but I'll get back to it as soon as possible!
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Bratterratt



Joined: 07 Jul 2008
Posts: 7533

PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 6:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know how it is! I'm currently writing three different books/stories/novels... it's hard to just focus on one thing!!!
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Heather



Joined: 28 Nov 2006
Posts: 5915

PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 7:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know right? I came up with two chapters today, almost three so I just had to add in the second one before I forgot Smile


Chapter 2: Back in the Past

Well, more or less of a vampire. Her mother was a vampire, well not the cold, ruthless one. She was kind hearted, sweet, and loved Morgan with all her heart. She was an amazing teacher and she was the kind that could grow older. Lamia, they called it. Lamia vampires can age and have children. Her father was human. The excepting kind. No one knew that they could have children. That theory was proved wrong. Just look at Morgan. Anyway, all the vampires came after the two of them since Morgan's mother revealed their little "world" to Morgan's father before marrying him. The vampire hunters were after them because... well... Morgan's mother was a vampire. Vampire hunters just did it. So, Morgan's parents were gone and she was in foster care. To top it off, she was a vampire hunter herself, after that night. The night that changed her life, when she found out about her past.

Chapter 3: The Gang
(This is back in the past, her remembering that night)

Morgan laughed at the whimpering faces. It was her gang against theirs. With one little advantage, her gang was vampires. There was Morgan, of course, their leader, with her firey hair and smokey eyes.
Then, second in command, Blake Santos. How do you describe Blake? Well, Morgan hated him, that was for sure. He was just a step worse then Morgan. He was gorgeous, of course. With hair the color of a dark black hole. He was pale, also, which just emphasized vampire. He was strong, powerful, loud, obnoxious... and Morgan hated him.
Then, there was Jen. Jen Jacobs. Jen was maybe the prettiest out of all of them. Her blonde hair make her look defenseless and her bright blue helped the matter even further. She looked like a barbie doll except much faster and much stronger.
How could you forget Danny James? With his light brown hair that glowed in sunlight and his dark brown eyes that made you feel like you were falling, he could get anyone to come near him. perfect for a vampire, of course, that needed blood everyday. He was just a little less strong than Blake and much less obnixious. He was sweet, in a way. Sweet for a vampire anyway.
Ashton Redfern had blonde hair and ice blue eyes. Ash was pretty quiet but could always add his two sense when needed. Sometimes he could be forgotten until you heard his light voice in the background. He had that bad guy look to him which also helped swarm the girls. Always helpful in his case.
That was her family, her gang. She practicley lived with them. Until that one night...
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Bratterratt



Joined: 07 Jul 2008
Posts: 7533

PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like it! Sooo good! Keep going! (Only one thing that kinda confuses me... what did you mean by Morgan being a vampire hunter also?)
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Heather



Joined: 28 Nov 2006
Posts: 5915

PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Once you see chapter 4 you'll see. Basically she tries to ignore that she's half vampire and hunts down other vampires that murder for fun, like she used to.
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Bratterratt



Joined: 07 Jul 2008
Posts: 7533

PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

(Ooooh, okay. Makes sense I guess!)
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Heather



Joined: 28 Nov 2006
Posts: 5915

PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 5:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chapter 4:
(Still in the Past)

"You have 2 minutes head start... actually, make that 5. And,w while I'm being generous, you get any weapon you chose." Morgan stood proudly under tall trees in the forest as the sun started to set. She gestured back towards Danny, who dumped emptied a bag onto the cold ground. The pile contained every weapon known to man, guns, knives, and, to be fair, a few sticks of wood. The leader of the other gang was a tall, handsome boy, about 17, with brown hair and blue eyes. Morgan knew him from school, Jesse something. His gang included 4 other guys, all equally handsome. Jesse picked up one of the guns, played with it a little bit and threw it back in the pile.
"I don't need a weapon to fight you and your pathetic friends, morgan." His cold voice shot at her.
Morgan laughed. "Suit yourself. But you may choose otherwise once we get into our little, shall I say game." She said.
"Oh, please." Jesse came back harshly. "Yeah, you make look perfect and act different than other people, but your little gang and you are just weak. I say it's all an act." He ranted on a little more about how no one could beat him and his gang. Morgan and the rest of the gang just stood there, waiting.
Finally, Morgan broke in. "Tick Tock. You have 2 minutes now. Take a weapon 'cause you'll need it. Start running 'cause that's the only thing you're able to do right now." She took a step closer to Jesse so they were inches apart. She may be over a head shorter but she could see the look in his eyes. "You agreed to this little challenge. Now, are you gonna fight seriously or should I just take you out now?" Her voice fiercley came at him. He picked up the gun and held it to her throat.
"Give up Morgan. You can't beat me." He said. Morgan stepped backwards, laughing.
"Shoot. I dare you." She said. And he did. At her leg. And she just alughed. And the cut healed.
Morgan stepped forward again,completelry unharmed from the bullet going through her skin, and grabbed his shirt right by his neck. "Did you not hear me? I said run."
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