1st chapter FINISHED! Looking for feedback/Title sugestions

[Cassy7]

I wrote this story
but never finished because i thought i was doing TERRIBLE
so i finally decided, if i want a true opinion i might as well go on SBF Now
MAKE SURE YOU LEAVE YOUR OPINION (i dont care what you say, i've heard it all)
here is a true story about a chicken
this is the first chapter,

Chapter 1: A Scary Surprize

It was a warm summer morning. I was up and chowing down on some Organix Flax(dont laugh) with some home grown fruits in it. My mom had gotten up a while ago. My brother was outside exploring instead of eating. as i finished my cereal, my mom called to me. i set my bowl on the counter and walked out into a cool breeze on the porch.
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"Casandra! Come out here and get rid of these eggs, i know how much you love to throw them!" my mom yelled.
"O.K!" I screamed back.
i went into the mudroom and put on my dark blue, worn down Crocs on. As i opened the door a gust of wind hit me, and the sun slid across my face.
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"It sure is a beautiful day out today, isnt it?" I thought to myself.
As I ran down to the chicken coop, where my mom was i slipped on a lil'pebble and almost lost my balance and fell. I walked from there.All the roosters, hens, and guinea fowl came running up to me as i passed the stonewall my mom had made the year we moved in to our log cabin. (my fav part>)I saw my brother running happily threw the think ferns almost above his tiny head. When i got to the chicken coop i walked into the newest addition to our barn because thats where the hen was setting. I called to my mom and she came out the furthest end and handed me two eggs and said "Here the hen has been setting on these eggs for over twenty-one days."
"Alrighty then" i awnsered.
As i walked over to the discting rock i thought,"Should i whip, toss or gently throw the eggs?"
As i approched the rock i desided i would gently toss them. I set one egg next to the rock and kept the other. I backed away from the rock. I tossed it and when it hit the rock i heard a
"peep, peep!"
I looked at the chicken coop and figured it was a hen. As i got to the egg it was cracked badly but some how no yolk had spilled out yet. I grabbed the egg and very oddly it was quite solid.As i gazed at it, it wiggled and cherped. I then relized too my horror chick inside the egg!
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Chapter 2: The Miracle Chick

I screamed and ran up to the chicken coop with both eggs. I told my mom what had happened. She grabbed both eggs and scrambled to put them back under the hen. For the rest of the day I paced and checked on the egg. At tweleve o'clock, my mom went out to check on him. When she came in she had a towl. I ran over and grabbed it up. I peeked in the towl and saw him!
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He was completely black exept for half of one of his toes. He had feathered feet and his eyes, oh his eyes, they lookied like a night without a moon. My mom said,
"When I went out he was dead, but I managed to revive him."
I knew his frist twenty-four hours would be critikle, when most chicks die.
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(will finish later, busy,busy)

[Bratterratt]

Lol, I would have had a heart attack! Sounds good. I like the style; casual, humorous. Of course, the only thing I would suggest changing is grammar related (bit of a Grammar Nazi I am, hehe). But its really good! Keep it up!

Bratt

[Cassy7]

thx
should i post the second chapter?

[wolfgirl159357]

yes very decent keep going