Want Opinions On This... 4th Origin Story Posted!

sandtiger · Joined: 30 Jul 2008 Posts: 8581

Its a thing I've really been thinking about for a while, this was also the basis of an idea I had for an RPG, but I figured it'd be too complicated... There are three 'origin' stories, the one picked would set the basis of the story as a whole. I'm in the process of making a forth one with the actual characters in that ,check back for that one if you want to see! I really want opinion son this, critique please? I'm trying to improve my writing for once, I got off my lazy butt for once as well, amazing! LOL! But here it is, sorry its so long. :/

Unknown Title:
1. They were said to exist ever since that first soul, a brave, noble warrior, having just died, ascended the golden steps of light into heaven for a glorious deed done in life, but he felt like his freedom had been taken away, because he now felt as if he had to bow before his deity (Or deities, it is still unclear even as of this writing.), he now had no free will of his own, or had he ever? In life, he had been watched carefully since his birth. He felt resentment, what some of you faithful religious folk may say foolish, deviant resentment. He wanted one key thing he had really never had: Freedom. And soon, more of these feelings spread among the souls, seeing the many, rebellious, but brave acts of the warrior against his deity. The warrior soon formed a group of all these souls, who a many had been poor farmers who had no freedom, slaves to there king in life, or noble aristocrats, who were use to getting what the wanted, free for the most part in life, but now no longer the case under the careful watch of a deity. And they called themselves…WOTF, The Wise Officials of True Freedom.
They rebelled, and succeeded in finding there own afterlife, and the ability…to finally control there own souls, wills, and worlds. But it came at a price: All souls who had fought for such were to be vanquished for eternity in nigh existence. It was an empty, open new universe. None lived there, a barren ghost, a shell of what it was meant to be. But, only half millennium later, someone discovered it, Saphrinaxal Novas Carroluleus. Not a human by any standard, she was an Angelian Avianas, or more simple, just Angela/Angel Bird. She was looking for a place for her children and her to inhabit, she had hundreds of children, and there old homes, a war torn afterlife, was no longer fit for these heavenly, peaceful birds. But what it most amazing, they could think, speak, and even…travel between universes. And Saphrinaxal was the most powerful of all of them, and so, she brought forth her children, and upon reading an old account of what had happened previously left by one of the rebels, declared it time. Time to bring creation and do what the rebels fought for, the plight to find true freedom!
But there was a problem, Saphrinaxal, for all her power, did not have the ability to create, like a true god or goddess, or deity. But she soon came up with a solution; why not… import other life forms from other dimensions or universes to populate these barren, but luscious, and rich, planets? And so, she had two of her daughters with her ability to travel between universes and dimensions, along with there own abilities to time travel bring selected, pure humans, having seen them in her time in other universes and she had enjoyed them quite thoroughly. And then, she set up a high council, including herself and a few others. Other imported Earth life and such flourished, and soon, the planets were populated with magnificence and glorious creatures.
And soon, Saphrinaxal, one day, smiling, her white feathers bristled delightfully in bliss at her new idea, inspired from the rebels account, which she so dearly loved to read to remind her why she had done all this, called her dearest, at the time, youngest daughter, only of 100 years of age, Azaptorianna. Now Azaptorianna, even compared to her mother, was a prodigy indeed. She had inherited all her mother’s abilities, but also her father’s (A Glacial Ki-Falcon) enduring grace, speed, and power. And so, Saphrinaxal had high hopes her own daughter would be able to accomplish the task she had been asked of: Create a contract, to bond some of these humans to this contract, to find peace and to bring well being to other universes as well, and last but not least, personal happiness, love, and freedom. And with the done job done quickly, only in an amazing three Earth years, Azaptorianna proudly presented it to her mother, held in beak and declared it ready.
With Saphrinaxal’s utmost approval of the document, it went into place right away. And now, instead of a human’s only option after death to stay there or reincarnate, they could bond and sign the contract with the soul’s residue (No, not actual goo!), as blood was only available in life and with a signed contract, that soul was now bounded for the remainder of the existence. And so, with that, they’d be reincarnated into another life. But not into there own, respective universe. Another, different one, and the deities of that other universe never even knew a foreign soul was snooping in life in one of there planets under there own ‘nose’. Normally, under such circumstances, a deity or universe lord/ruler (Often times these ‘lords’ were not true deities, just kind of like land owners in life) from another universe would contact another deity form a different universe to organize such an event of a soul entering that deities universe and planets they ruled. But Saphrinaxal, as much as she herself despised lying and snooping, and such, could not allow contact to come across, because certainly there would be anger and scorn from the deities who’s universes the souls who had signed the contact had been sent to live and fulfill it.
This continued throughout the millennia’s, in peace, but it was bound to happen, a deity of a heavily infiltrated universe, filled with these contract bounded souls, saw the strange behavior of these souls and began to suspect, suspect there had been some kind of snooping or something and set out with haste to find out what had happen. And who was the deity who suspected or found out you might ask? The universe known as Althitadorekanaiva, the universe this god was from, was the God of Scorn, Mattresses, Revenge, and Arrows, known by the name of his worshipers as Yethwrite. And he was quite mad; being the god of what he was and was set out to get this disruption in his planets settled out!
And with that, Yethwrite, without calling a meeting of his own fellow gods and goddesses of his own universe, barged through the universal door, and met face to face with Saphrinaxal. This resulted in a forceful argument between the two, much to Saphrinaxal’s displeasure. And with that, a war was raged. And by some kind of luck, Saphrinaxal’s forces won, with another price to the victory. They must stop the program, or the deities from Althitadorekanaiva would personally destroy what Saphrinaxal worked so hard to restore. And, she must give up all planets she and her high council ruled over to the deities of Althitadorekanaiva. Saphrinaxal was so upset by these terms and having to give up her work, she went into a destructive rampage. Her gentle nature obstructed by her great rage, the power Angelian Bird was to be feared for the next two millennium.
By the end of this time, the place that had been abandoned once, restored by Saphrinaxal and her children, was now… A place gone wrong. You could consider it the equivalent of Earth’s Christian’s religion’s Hell. Many of Saphrinaxal’s children had died (There souls lost in nigh existence as well now, sad as it is); the contract/charter had been lost through ages of terror and destruction of planets because of Saphrinaxal herself, and all universes guarded and locked up tightly by there respective deities. And all life forms on the planets ruled by the high council created by Saphrinaxal… were gone. Generation upon generations of humans lost, new lively creatures lost to time, extinct to the rage of another. And now realizing the extent of the damage, Saphrinaxal fell into even more despair and sacrificed her soul, to revive all the lost souls and to hopefully repay for her wrong doings, and with the last thoughts of hope for the future, Saphrinaxal, died a valiant death, slipping away, soul and all.
Yethwrite, who had willingly smirked at the rampage and destruction, being a god of war, he himself now realized he had gone too far. And so, on his knees pleading before the leader of his universe Althitadorekanaiva, the goddess of life herself, Terrethnii Sokatha Reflillion, to forgive him and asking whatever it took to repay for his wrongdoings, Terrethnii was told to purse her lips, stare down the other fellow god with a glare cold as the harshest winter, told him he should sacrifice his place as a god, and even as soul, as too rekindle all the lost life in Saphrinaxal’s universe.
Now, even though Saphrinaxal sacrificed herself for the lives of her universe, it only restored there bodies, not there lives. And when Yethwrite nodded to Terrethnii’s suggestion, she chanted some of the most ancient chants the space-time continuum had ever known, Ithkar Hilttitine Killadeer, the soul of Yethwrite disappeared into nigh existence with a great poof, the spirit’s of all the dead life forms of Saphrinaxal’s universe, came to life once more, and proceeded the cycle of life itself.
Terrethnii soon appointed Azaptorianna, who had grieved her mother’s death sorrowfully, as leader of Saphrinaxal’s universe, also now renamed as the Universe of Life itself, or more easily said, Allularian. Azaptorianna accepted, and her first act of head of her universe, closed all connections to other universes nigh permanently, reintegrated the contract, now known as the Freedom For Forever Contract, and sent them many places, other universes other than her own. And a week later, Azaptorianna smiled for the first time since all that chaos began, and now being about 5,000 years old, thought she knew what the meaning of life itself was pretty well, well indeed. And with that said, from that point on; the time of The Golden Era dawned.
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2. “They were said to form from only the tiniest bit of hope. But nonetheless they were soon sprinkled throughout the universe, multiple ones, coming from there own homelands, their universe, they were said to live at least 100 lives each. And please do not go looking into the ancient scrolls of the Imperial Library, or any other resource, ancient or not. They are not mentioned anywhere, and, does a mere theory like this even count? Mystery surrounds the very formation of such a group, for it could be for even the must subtle of reasons, but it seems she or he wishes to escape discovery, the truth…,” –The ancient, dusty yellowed paper and penning of a person living during the true, old personification of life itself.

Hello, I am the archeologist, or the career now known as an Achibi’vikan. Some believe the persona who did this, singed a contract once he or she entered the afterlife, or somewhere beyond there living state, supposedly some might submerse… is that it is a…contract to find eternal peace, and REAL freedom. Or, is this scripture telling of a gruesome fate worse than that of a possible, real Armageddon? What was even the purpose of doing this? Is it even a contract, or was some poor, insane fool writing that ancient scripture? We will only know through the eyes of one of these people bound by this contract, who have faced this before, and to do that…We need to find a good place to start. And who we are looking for… Well, I’ll tell you.
My friend, we are looking for…
A Destiny Traveler.

And as the saying now goes of enter whatever, I wish to say…
ENTER: THE NEW ERA

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3. Bound for eternity, struck down into secrecy by there own guilt and wish for concealment at there actions, the outcasts, and rebels of society, they are the only ones who know the Truth. Along with there life long bonds with there soul animal companion, these travelers, these nomads, flit between universes, unseen, and unheard by the inhabitant of such universes, or even others of there own kind. For they, are alone, with friendship only of there companion. They all have different reasons for the things they have done because of this life, and why they chose it, but they all have one thing in common. They were all alone to begin with, had no purpose in life, and the grand desire, to be free and be needed by others.
But others, the rouges and criminals, have a different will of there own. Wealth, gambling and thieving is there game, not to mention causing chaos among the galaxies. They are the in there own right, the opposites of the noble others. They travel most often in gangs or bands, for both there own gain or for another, higher ruler in there own ranks. This group, the difference some of them themselves have are as clear as night and day, are the galactic and universal forces of good and evil. And they all together are known as the…

Destiny Travelers

4.

"Faster, go for a dive, Azaptorianna!" - I shouted between heavy breaths of exhaustion and excitement. We dove down in a dive as I had commanded, barreling through the whipping wind that flared against our skin. (Or feathers in Azaptorianna's case.) Azaptorianna expressed an exasperated, but excited, shrill whistle, that sounded slightly like a deep growl. I knew that she was growing tired, but we had to get it done, and today! Or we never would get it done! We had a messenger to deliver to Suzume, and that is how it would be! I pulled on Azaptorianna wings and we descended at the gate post with a sharp turn, swoop and descent to the stone trail ground. Dizzy, I nearly fainted, but I had done this many times before and all I had to do was keep myself steady, endure it. Even with plenty of experience, I never could explain that incredible rush of adrenaline, of flying. I jumped down from Azaptorianna back, A Glacial Ki-Falcon and part something I didn't know, and entered the post, scroll in hand... My name is Tsukitori Tamahari, and I really hoped it was true I was here, because a lot of things I do, aren't real in most of the places I visit. For I hoped for once, I might have found a place, I can finally, be free...