"Promise Me," = short paragraph.

[firebird!]

it's sad, really. how hard it is to allow you to do this to me without me doing something. I have to keep my promise to them, the girls. I'm done breaking promises, and I'm done with people who break theirs. what's the point in making one, anyways, if you don't plan to keep it? I'm confused, baby. you promised you wouldn't hurt me, but I don't think you've noticed that you're killing me more and more each day. no one notices, which gives me more of an advantage. I'd hate to leave you like this, though, so I'll stay a while longer. I just don't know how much longer I can do this. save me.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I tried to tell you before, I did, honestly. I said, "you can't handle me, boy, I need mental help." and you didn't believe me, you thought I was kidding. well I wasn't. I was quite serious, infact, so serious that I would of bet my life on it. don't you understand? I need you.. but I do not need you to pretend. that only makes it much worse in the long run, and as smart as you are, I thought you'd know that. apparently, you don't.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I'd hate to break it to you. boy, I'm falling fast, and I'm falling hard. you can say you love me, if you mean it. you can give me hugs and flirt if you promise to stay around, promise to help me get passed my weakness. if you promise to mean everything you say. I already know you don't love me the way I love you.. but for my sake, don't leave me hanging. get my facts straight. it's yes or no, friend or enemy, love or hate. don't keep me guessing. if you love me, you'd better tell me now, because I won't wait forever for something that isn't even mine. understand now, boy? I hope so, because I'll only say it once before I walk out the door.


note: I'm aspiring to be a writer, see any mistakes? comments, please.

[*~Trent~*]

ooo this is good. Now i want names, and a story to go along with it

I think thats a good way to write a book. Write a scene, or a paragraph like you did, and then make the story around it. I dont know if that what your aiming for, but if anyone else is, thats my advice.

[Bratterratt]

I'm also planning on becoming an author and majoring in creative writing!

The only thing I would suggest it grammar corrections. Capitalize. Punctuate correctly. Break into proper paragraphs. That kind of stuff.

It's really well written though and touching. One of my general writing styles is short inspirational pieces. That's what this looks like it could turn out to be with a little more work and story line.

Great Job!

[firebird!]

Usually, I only have enough emotion packed in for a little snippet like this one. I was writing this after I got home from school today. As for names? Cody and well.. me. Cody is my best friend, my crush. this is exactly how I feel about him, so this came from the heart.

[firebird!]

[Bratterratt]

Well the lack of capitalization is kinda cute just for fun, but it wouldn't get passed through editing... Just sayin'...

As for proper paragraphs, here's an example...

===========================================

I tried to tell you before, I did, honestly.

"You can't handle me, boy. I need mental help," I said. And you didn't believe me. You thought I was kidding. Well I wasn't. I was quite serious. Infact, so serious that I would of bet my life on it.

Don't you understand? I need you... But I do not need you to pretend. That only makes it much worse in the long run and as smart as you are, I thought you'd know that.

Apparently, you don't.

===========================================

Now, look above. I did a little editing on the paragraph wise.

You separate each separate thought by a space and an indent. If you want to make it kind of dramatic, since I would consider this an inspirational piece, you may want to separate certain sentences, like I did with the first and last...

[firebird!]

I see.

I know you all know I'm picky about grammar and punctuation .. xDD