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Bratterratt
Joined: 07 Jul 2008 Posts: 7533
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Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 6:48 pm Post subject: |
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Sipphy
Joined: 22 Jun 2009 Posts: 161
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Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 10:35 pm Post subject: |
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Still reading! Keep posting! |
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Bratterratt
Joined: 07 Jul 2008 Posts: 7533
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Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 2:46 pm Post subject: |
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Here you go...
“Great,” –Jacom sighed, his face disappointed, “Another that I can’t understand.” It has hard for Coryn to hide his disappointment as well.
“We should just keep going then. But let’s keep alert, the message is obviously trying to warn us of something,” –Coryn murmured softly, looking towards the others. They nodded and gathered up their burlap sacks.
From there they turned into the forest, onto a course that unless you knew to look for it, was utterly impossible to see. A small stone path wound through the trees, slippery lime-green moss growing between the rocks. Thorn brambles grew thick around the path’s edge, occasionally tripping the hurrying travelers. It was darker in the forest, even though it was in the middle of the day.
The path began to gradually turn upwards, until the group was practically climbing. And the trip only got steeper. Coryn scrambled ahead of the others, trying to keep his pace steady as the leader, but finding it quite difficult. Gideon grumbled in a low voice to himself as they went; something about how if the person who cut the path had had the decency to make it a bit wider, then he wouldn’t have to trip around in his human form. Brion rolled his eyes with each step at Gideon’s impatience with human movement and Jacom quietly walked behind Coryn stifling a good-natured laugh.
The climbing didn’t last much longer, as they reached a stone covered ridge and the trees thinned.
“There is no way in…” –Brion cursed, as he took in what lay before them. The mountain side had been steep before, but that was nothing compared to this. The path curved steeply upward, wrapping around the mountain. It was about three feet in width all around and each side cut down perhaps hundreds of feet.
“We do not exactly have a choice here Brion,” –Coryn replied softly, a thick lump building up in his already parched throat. The burly man spat a few more strings of obscenities, then stomped ahead, a glare set permanently on his bearded face. Jacom shrugged and looked apologetically at Coryn, then began to follow, his step, though tired, swinging light-heartedly. Coryn merely nodded, then looked over his shoulder at the guardians.
Gideon was still, his shoulders tense, and muscles strained beneath his tight, pale skin.
“There’s no way I can walk that, Coryn,” –Gideon winced, giving the boy a painful expression. Coryn bit his lip hard. Gideon was clumsy in his human form and too giant to travel on the trail as a bear. It seemed impossible.
“I am sorry Gideon, but it’s too risky for you to try,” –Coryn said quietly, looking up at the immensely tall guardian. Gideon nodded, his head hung shamefully, but knowing that there was no other way.
“You can make a camp here at the bottom and wait for us to return. We shouldn’t be long, at latest perhaps tomorrow morning,” –Coryn assured the guardian quickly.
“I’ll be fine Coryn and I’ll be here when you all get back,” –Gideon replied with a weak smile. Coryn nodded, with a deep inhale.
“Thank you, good friend. We’ll be back… with the Air Dragon,” –Coryn finished, then turned and walked to where Jacom, Brion, and Tiron stood waiting.
“Gideon is going to wait for us here,” –Coryn said simply, replying to the questioning stares.
“Coward,” –Brion muttered, more to himself than anyone else.
“That’s enough Brion!” –Coryn snapped, startling the others and even himself, “Gideon is not able to come and we will all miss his assistance terribly.” Brion’s jaw set itself tight, but he only nodded and kept his teeth clenched silently.
“I don’t want to fight, Brion. But it is not Gideon’s fault he has to step out. Let’s get moving, Tilmaria is waiting,” –and with that, Coryn began at an even pace towards the rising path.
Chapter 17: The Dragon's Lair
(Will post if wanted) |
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Sipphy
Joined: 22 Jun 2009 Posts: 161
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Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 7:51 pm Post subject: |
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I like how the conflict has shifted from always external, to more internal. But make sure the characters are all on good terms eventually. I don't know if that seems obvious to you, but I once read a book where the good guys never got over their disagreements. It ruined an otherwise very good book.
Keep posting! |
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Bratterratt
Joined: 07 Jul 2008 Posts: 7533
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Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 8:27 pm Post subject: |
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Lol, that brings up something I had thought about. Because my book ends pretty abruptly, I did not have them resolve their disagreements till the second book (which I'm working on currently). Do you think I should change that so they do at the end of the book? |
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Bratterratt
Joined: 07 Jul 2008 Posts: 7533
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Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 8:35 pm Post subject: |
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There you go!
Coryn tried not to look down the group of four moved slowly along the upward trail. He led the group yet again, with the four-legged Tiron close behind, followed by Jacom, then came Brion at the end, his angry silence only being ignored by the others.
Every now and again, a traveler’s moving feet would send a rock skittering down the mountain side, an unsettling sound. Jacom took up his whistling again, in an attempt to soothe himself and even the others, though there was really nothing to be cheerful about.
Coryn felt an overwhelming feeling of relief as the path began to level out and widen ever so slightly. After perhaps an hour of traveling, though it had seemed much longer, the trail stopped abruptly.
Instead of a path now, the mountain top spread vast in front of the travelers. The trees grew thick yet again, and if it had been any smaller, Coryn would not have been able to see it. Just above the brown, dried tree tops, something giant and dome-shaped lay.
Coryn, with Tiron at his heels broke into a lope, pushing his way through the closely spaced trees. As he grew closer, Coryn pulled abruptly to a stop. It was a cave, or maybe a den, larger in size than several houses and dug deeply into the top of the mountain.
The rock from which it was made of was like no other Coryn or any of the others had ever seen. Its surface was smooth, like that of rippling water, and it glittered brighter than the finest silver. Cave’s mouth was open wide and it looked unsettlingly like the waiting, fanged mouth of a dragon. A chilling shiver slid down Coryn’s spine as he looked into the black hole of the cave.
Brion trotted to a stop by Coryn’s side, his breath slightly heavy.
“Coryn, what are we to do now?” –Jacom asked, directly beside his elder brother. The boy shook his head.
“I am not sure, Jacom,” –Coryn replied softly, then hesitantly took a step towards the cave’s dark depths. Gathering his courage, the boy walked slowly towards the gaping mouth and carefully rested a hand on its smooth, rock side. The others did not make a move to join Coryn, though Tiron stepped restlessly from side to side.
Coryn’s hand absently moved up to touch the fold in his shirt where the stone was nestled. With a sharp breath, the boy dropped his hand and plunged without hesitation into the cave. The dark immediately enfolded him and Coryn quickly steadied himself against the rock wall.
“Coryn!” –several voices called from outside of the cave, but Coryn did not answer. Again, his hand rose to feel the cool stone. Quickly, his hand dropped with a surprised gasp. Slowly, more hesitantly now, Coryn allowed his fingers to touch the stone’s engraving. It should not have surprised him; he knew of the stone’s incredible powers, but still, he was startled.
The moment Coryn’s hand touched the stone, the black darkness that had made the boy unable to see his way cleared, making the smooth inner walls of the cave visible. After a moment of steadying his breath, Coryn stepped forward, deeper into the glittering cave.
Chiseled finely into the back wall was something, perhaps a symbol or writing, Coryn noticed as he took several stepped closer. The boy reached his free hand out to touch the stone wall, his quivering fingers running hesitantly along the smooth surface. Coryn’s stomach lurched ever so slightly as he realized it was another of the familiar messages.
The Dragon’s Lair you’ve entered now,
Find the dragon, I’ll tell you how,
Follow the path that’s placed for you,
Brevity’s wit, you’ll need it too,
Hurry along, what awaits is gold,
For you will find, the key you do hold. |
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Sipphy
Joined: 22 Jun 2009 Posts: 161
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Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 9:25 pm Post subject: |
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Brevity's wit? So like, the cleverness of conciseness? Was it possible you meant bravery or something?
This isn't exactly a full length novel, so I think it'll be fine the way you planned it. The important thing right now is that they find the air dragon! *watches intently* |
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Bratterratt
Joined: 07 Jul 2008 Posts: 7533
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Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 9:44 pm Post subject: |
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Lol, Brevity's wit comes from a Shakespeare quote, "Brevity is the soul of wit". It means just like you said, "Cleverness of Conciseness".
C
Coryn slowly felt the last engraving, not a letter, not a word, but the Air Dragon’s symbol. Taking in a hasty inhale, the boy looked around the cave’s spacious room. Placing his feet carefully, Coryn walked along the wall’s side, running his hand across the strangely smooth stone as he did so.
His hand suddenly felt empty space, instead of the dome-shaped wall, and Coryn stopped abruptly as it did so. A large opening eroded the side of the cave, creating a tunnel-like shape. The boy, with one hand still clasped tightly above the stone, moved without hesitation into the space.
The tunnel stretched far before him, turning and twisting, making it impossible for Coryn to see where it ended. He moved along, rather quickly, eager but alert for anything to happen. Continually he walked, slipping through the tunnel’s many turns. It was almost completely silent, except for the steady padding of Coryn’s feet, making their way across the damp stone floor.
Time began to pass, and the boy moved on, holding the stone close to himself. The tunnel seemed never ending and after a while of this, to Coryn’s discouragement, he felt himself beginning to slowly tire. His feet began to drag and the boy stumbled ever so often, though not falling. Still the tunnel did not change. It showed no signs of ending, of ever getting closer to Coryn’s destination.
“Ah!” –Coryn’s soft exclamation echoed hauntingly through the tunnel as he tripped yet again and fell. The boy’s hands scraped painfully against the stone floor, drawing blood. Groaning, Coryn pulled himself yet again to his feet and bracing his tired body on the tunnel’s sloping sides.
At first, Coryn’s heavy breathing was all that could be heard echoing around his head and around the tunnel walls. Then another faint sound joined, one that made Coryn’s heart pound faster. The steady beat of footsteps was barely audible at first, but they grew louder as they neared the boy. Coryn’s wet palms slid up against the smooth stone walls as he desperately searched for some way out of the tunnel. The dome shaped walls were as slick as glass, as Coryn vainly battled the tunnel’s darkness. Something large brushed up against the boy’s legs, and they buckled, as he fell against the hard floor.
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