Service dog Story Contest - WINNER UP - sorry for the delay

[Cowgirls Rule]

Disaster Zones

Ember, my three year old fox red Labrador retriever, was resting on the floor of my small cabin. Suddenly, I was jolted out of my thoughts by the phone ringing. I quickly answered it and my heart sank. I had just gotten a frantic call from a nearby nursing home. Alanna, an elderly woman who lived in the nearby nursing home had disappeared after going for her daily morning walk. Alanna was known for being highly stubborn and independent. Upon hearing the area that she was going for a walk in, I scrambled to the van, Ember beside me. I opened up the door to Ember's kennel and she jumped right in. I quickly closed the door and hopped into the driver's seat. I turned on the radio and waited.

"Hello, hello, come in Al," I heard my boss call.

"Yes," I answered.

"So far we have an article of clothing that Ember can get her scent from and we have her caretaker who knows Alanna's daily route. Hopefully the storm will let up soon," my boss replied.

I nodded my head and explained,” We’re almost there, only about five minutes to go."

I heard my boss turn off his radio and sighed, I hope that the storm wouldn't wash away her scent or her footprints; or else Ember wouldn't have much of a lead on her.

"Alright Ember, we have an extremely important job to do. Remember sweet old Alanna? Well she hasn't returned from her morning walk and her caretaker thinks she's gone missing. It's all up to us to find her now," I explained to Ember.

Her only response was to shake her large head and jump out of the truck. I quickly followed and clipped her leash on. I didn't think it was necessary, but my boss seemed to. She barked a greeting and went straight to work.

"Okay Al, here's Alanna's slippers. Let Ember breath her scent in,” my boss called.

I took the tiny slippers and put them on the ground before Ember. She buried her nose in them and wagged her feathery tail. I smiled and gently took the slippers and handed them back to my boss. I gave her the entire length of leash that I had and let her set off. Ember trotted along the moist ground, every now and them pausing and pointing. I praised her and quickly followed.

“Good girl Ember,” I praised her.

Her only response was a wag of the tail before she was off again. I heard a crinkling of vegetation and a small frail help. Ember nosed her way through the bushes in front of me and sat down. That was my cue to step in front of her and help Alanna up. I patted Ember and swung my arm over Alanna’s shoulder.

“You know, I didn’t need that much help. I’m not that weak,” Alanna protested.

I laughed and led Alanna back to the nursing home’s parking lot. Ember was greeted with all sorts of hugs and praises. I unclipped the leash and led Alanna to the medics. Once she was in good hands, I trotted over to my boss.

“Well, I wouldn’t have found her if it weren’t for Ember here. I heard a faint rustling and Ember nosed her way through the vegetation in front of me and tad-dah, there was Alanna,” I explained.

“Wow! Well, at least Alanna’s safe. She only has a sprained ankle and one heck of a story,” my boss replied.

I laughed and said good-bye to everyone before heading off toward my truck. I petted Ember and opened the passenger side door for her to hop into. I patted her and praised her on the trip back to home. When the quaint cabin came into view, Ember's tail wagged and she wiggled in her seat. We were home at last.

[Bratterratt]

Oh, I didn't catch the 1000 word limit. Sorry, you can take my story out of the contest if you want to Cocodri...

Bratterratt

[Cocodri]

Better yet - edit it down to 1000 words and resubmit. I used to write a ton of short stories on commission and that 1000 word limit is a killer. I hated it. But it sure taught me to weigh every word and in the long run I think made me a much better writer.

I also didn't want to take up tooooo much room on the forum. These are great, I'll never be able to decide (sigh) I'm clearly going to have to come up with prizes for runners up!

[wolfgirl159357]

My story

Dark days

Snow, a pure white German Sheapherd rose from her bed as the old style black phone gve a trill ring. Randy her handler adn "dad" answered teh phone with a gruff"Yes". Snow swivled her white ears and let her caramel eyes try to understand what they were saying. Randy nodded and hung up the phone before saying "Time to go to work, girl". Snow jumped up adn ave a series of yips. Randy walked towards the door where Snow's vest lay it was bright orange with black lettering that said "SEARCH AND RESCUE" and slipped it onto his dog.

Randy then started the car quickly and drove to the ranger's tower, as he opened the door Snow lept out on her lead. Randy walked inside the tower adn said to teh director "Brief me please". Randy nodded as the director said "A 14 year old boy by the name of Jayson went missing while on a hike about 2 days ago, parents presumed he stayed for a little while longer, he went missing from his camp site in this area" teh director said as he pointed to the area on teh Yellowstone Park map.

Randy nodded put his vest on adn got his flashlight. Snow looked to her handler. Randy tehn walked out the door Snow at his sdie as he took the trail up to the camp site adn said to Snow "Go find him girl" as he handed her a peice of his clothing to sniff. Snow inhaled the scent of the boy and gave a soft pant as Randy unleashed her and she started off in a trot nose to the ground towards where the boys scent went. Randy ran close behind her along with a EMT.

After about a hour of tracking Snow smelled the scent get stronger and gave a series of yips stateing the scent was getting stronger. Randy yelled to the EMT "We almost got him" adn continued fllowing Snow. Snow led on and lept into a river and swam across, followed by Randy adn the EMT. Snow then broke into a run and saw a green shirt and jeans adn ran to it greeting the boy with a series of licks.

Randy then smiled adn yelled "We found him" to the EMT and said it over the walkie talkies. The EMT ran over to Jayson adn started to asses his injuries he had abroken leg and a bruised rib but nothing too bad, along with being starving and severely dehydrated. The EMT then loaded Jayson onto the cage that was sent down by a helicopter above. Randy smiled adn gave Snow a pat on the head along with a soft pet and said"Good job girl". Snow licked her master happily as tehy started towards teh ranger's station.

Once back at the ranger's station Randy got a blue ribbon and so did Snow for their work and the director said"That boy wouldnt have lasted another night out there you two should be proud. Snow sat in glory beside Randy who stood proud. Randy then loaded Snow into the truck adn drove home and gave her a nice meal adn made himself dinner. Snow knew she was a hero and couldnt wait until her next search.

[SomebodyDude]

My story..

Kate quickly called to Brownie her search and rescue dog. Brownie came quickly running and jumping into the passenger side of Kate’s truck.

As soon as they got to the woods Kate saw her partner Leo and his dog Champ. “A seven year old girl is lost. She ran into the woods about a day ago. People looked for her all last night but couldn’t find her. The girl`s mother is hysterical.”Leo said nodding his head to a crying woman. “Here’s the piece of clothing they gave us.” Brownie and Champ both then smelled a blouse.

Champ`s leash ripped out of Leo’s hand bursting out towards the woods. Leo desperately calling for Champ to come back running towards the woods.

“Come on Brownie!”Kate said grabbing her pack “Leo I’ll find Champ while I’m out there.” Brownie started to run in front of Kate on her long leash.

They ran forever eventually Kate heard a bark and saw Champ. Champ kept barking, Brownie started to run after Champ. He led them to the Big Pine River where Kate saw the young girl on a rock on the cliff face.

“Help me!”She screamed over the roaring river. “I can’t get off the rock!”

“I’ll try!”Kate screamed back. Kate grabbed her rope from her pack and tied it to a tree and threw it down. It was too short and Kate couldn’t risk it. She turned around to look for Brownie but she and Champ were both gone.
A scream pierced the air from the young girl. Kate went to the ledge and looked over
“There is a huge dog! Help me!” The girl yelled

“He’s a good dog! Trust him and the other dog!”Kate yelled

Brownie ran up to the young girl and rubbed up against her. Champ tugged on her sleeve to follow him. The girl did trusting the friendly dogs. Brownie, Champ, and the girl went out of view for almost twenty minutes and then Kate spotted them. She carried the exhausted girl with Champ and Brownie following behind faithfully. As they got back to the camp grounds everyone was there.

The young girl was taken to the hospital.”She wouldn’t have lasted much longer out there.”The doctor said “These dogs are true heroes!”

Two days later Champ and Brownie were honored and both given metals for their amazing work.

“These dogs are truly heroes!”The mayor said presenting the metals to both of them.


The story is a little too happy if you ask me...lol..

[wolfgirl159357]

Quite short i like it better then mine.

[SomebodyDude]

Short, Sweet, and to the point! I like yours Wolf!

[wolfgirl159357]

Thanks though i think yours is sooo much better.

[Bratterratt]

Right now I'm trying to make mine 700 words less, it's so hard!!!

Bratterratt

[Cocodri]

Yes, I know it's Monday. I've been sick a couple of days and have a ton of stuff to do today. I want to give everyone a proper consideration, so it will be either later tonight or possibly tomorrow - sorry 'bout that but I can't help it. I hate being sick.

[Fire Opal]

That's alright. I just got over being sick, myself.

[Cocodri]

*skids in barely under the deadline* Well - it is still Monday, BARELY here. LOL.

I have to tell ya - this was TOUGH. Therefore, once I'm done posting here, I'll be sending you each a SBF cash prize of $1mill for entering. Thanks for these great entries to chose from!

Bratterat - doggone it I wish you had re-entered! I love the line about the balding sheriff hitching up his gun belt - I could suddenly picture him perfectly in my mind. Great characterizations.

Fire Opal - I love it that someone chose a Newfie. I love it even more that you so accurately described the way they move, the noises they make - you really pegged him.

CowgirlsRule - That detail about Alanas tiny little shoes almost made me CRY, I suddenly saw this tiny birdy little woman...sniffle

wolfgirl - Most drama in least words. What on earth could you do with 2000? Write me a novel? Teach me how you do it!

SomebodyDude - Wow, the ending of this one is SMOKIN'

Ya'll are killin' me. But, I had to chose one so...

THE WINNER IS;

FireOpal

Yay yay cheers everyone

FireOpal I have bred for your puppy - oops - meant it to be here already, again, sick, ugh, pooh, etc. I'll post the URL soon as s/he is here.

Everyone, I'm sending ya' $1mill. IF you'd like a line by line critique (because I did one on each of them) I'd be happy to share it with you, PM me. As a writer myself, I'd keel over and die to be critiqued in public so I won't do it here - LOL. OTH you guys probably get enough of it in school and don't want to hear it anyway. I seriously want you to realize that I look at other writers work ALOT and you guys could put some adult writers to shame. Yay you!

Next contest up sometime tomorrow. I'm all done in and need to go lay down some more.

Thanks again.

Cocodri

[Bratterratt]

Congrats Fire Opal!!! *Round of Applause*

Bratterratt

[SomebodyDude]

Good job Opal!

Could you critic mine? Hehe... I'm more of a reader than a writer...lol...

[Cocodri]

http://www.sandboxfarm.com/viewanimal.php?idkey=1109734

Here she is

You bet SomebodyDude - I'll PM you here in a bit, got some outdoors work I have to do during the warmest hours of the day (which isn't saying much since our high is supposed to be 41 today)

TTYL

Cocodri