my first story please comment

[wolfgirl159357]

ok i am going to make a story about wolves of course i am in the process of making it so it is almost done with the first chapter.

[wolfgirl159357]

ok this is the first chapter the story is called "Snow's light".

Chapter 1:Daybreak

As the sun broke through the darkness a lone female white wolf woke up and walked outisde her den. She stretched and yawned before looking around. The forest was eirely queit as she walked and soon found a pod. She bent down seeing her reflection and drank small sips as her reflection rippled. She soon finished drinking and looked up looking for danger her ice blue eyes scanning the forest. She walked for a small distance and decided that it would soon be time to hunt. She soon saw a large herd of Elk and decided that breakfast would be Elk.

Well what do you think should i go on?

[Marlee]

As the sun broke through the darkness, a lone, white female wolf woke up. She walked outisde her den. She stretched and yawned before looking around. The forest was eirely queit as she walked and soon found a pond. She bent down seeing her reflection and drank small sips as her reflection rippled. She soon finished drinking and looked up looking for danger her ice blue eyes scanning the forest. She shuffled a short distance before deciding it would be time to hunt soon. She saw a large herd of Elk and decided that would be breakfast.


Just copied and pasted for editing Hope this helps.

[wolfgirl159357]

Yes it does a lot thanks

[Marlee]

Gald It helped, Will you comment on mine?

[wolfgirl159357]

Yup I did

[wolfgirl159357]

I dont think i am goign to write another chapter sinse nobody is really saying they like it go on or anything.

[shaggydoggy]

I like it! It's really good!

[wolfgirl159357]

ok then i will continue

Chapter 2 :The hunt

Once i had the scent and had targeted my prey i slowly stalked it. When i was close enough and shot out in a burst of speed, as the Elk took off I was in close persuit. We were running for at least 4 miles and i was starting to wear down as well as my prey. Finally with one last burst of speed i quickly caught up and jumped latching onto it's throat. I kicked it's legs so it fell to the ground while i was attached. I shook wiht one quick movement and the animal was dead i breathed heavily. After i had caught my breath i started to tear into the Elk with ravenous hunger. I ripped and tore before soon having my fill. I carried the carcas to a safe spot and burried it. Now that my stomach was full i cleaned my coat of the blood.

well?

[wolfgirl159357]

well anyone like it?

[wolfgirl159357]

seriously nyone.

[shaggydoggy]

No bud! It's great! *Keeps reading*

[wolfgirl159357]

ok i will make another chapter.

Chapter 3 enemies

I heard a strange noise coming from the nearby shrubs. My ridges stood up and a low growl ran through me. Suddenly a large black male wolf started to growl. "Who are you" i snarled through clenched teeth. The black male replied" Who are you to ask who i am". I was now enraged and let a loud snarl rip through me. The male laughed his yellow eyes ruthless. I know was even more enraged and said "What do you want". "Your life" the male replied with a evil grin. I looked astonished not letting my astonishment show and said"Well you are going to have to fight for it". The male let out a long howl and within mintues several other large wolves showed up on his flanks. Snow smiled and howled and her family and friends showed up on her flanks There were 20 wolves on my side and i laughed. The male said "Very well prepare to meet your death long and painful". I snarled and sent th esignal to attack as ell as the male.

Well?

[Cowgirls Rule]

Mind if I edit?

[wolfgirl159357]

no not really