Please comment - My First Story

[Marlee]

All from Jaymee's point of view. Based on My school. People are real, facts are not.


Chapter 1:

I shuffled into my portible after being dropped off earlier than I would have liked. Slowly, I trudged up the peeling stairs and into my classroom. It was dark but friendly, cold, but familier. I breathed in fumes of freashly sharpend pencils and the fragrance of disinfectant. I smiled to myself and sauntered softly to my locker. My head turned at the sound of the slamming door. My eyes locked with two brown eyes.

[wolfgirl159357]

Nice

[Cheyann]

I shuffled into my portible after being dropped off earlier than I would have liked. Slowly, I trudged up the peeling stairs and into my classroom. It was dark but friendly, cold, but familier. I breathed in fumes of freashly sharpened pencils and the fragrance of disinfectant. I smiled to myself and sauntered softly to my locker. My head turned at the sound of the slamming door. My eyes loocked with two brown eyes.

Just a few spelling errors. Other than that I like it =)

[wolfgirl159357]

dont forget to judge mine lol

[Marlee]

Well thats how locked is spelled but thx


Chapter 2:

I breathed a sigh of relief and laughed. "Thanks Toby" I chuckled sarcasticly. His slight smile and bright eyes told me that he was tired and needed some more sleep. I walked briskly to my desk, playfully punching his shoulder. His ashen socks were up to his ankles. His Levi (r) jeans were grass stained and wet around the hem. He had a soccer shirt on, typicall of him to wear something that had to do with his favorite sport. As I looked back to the lockers in the back of our portible, I could tell he hadn't had much time this morning.

[wolfgirl159357]

i like it go on...

[Marlee]

Chaper 3:

Toby opened his locker noisily, shuved his backpack inside then snatched up his cobalt binder and ploppled it on his desk. I glanced at the clock, 7:20 a.m. school wouldn't start for a hour and 1/12. I sighed and grabed my homework I hade finished the previous night. My chocolate hair was damp from my shower causing my shirt to stick to my shirt. I pulled it into a hight, tight pony tail. I slipped on my brown glasses and set my spelling and bible homework on the turn in counter. Toby and I jumped when we heard the door slam shut and a wave of bitter air swoshed into the room.

[wolfgirl159357]

ilike it

[Marlee]

Chapter 4:

The lights were still off and a tall shadowy figure walked into the room. I began to back up slowly The shadow began walking up to the light switch but it began to come for ME! I gasped and looked at Toby whos face was white. Frightend, I looked at him and then at the towering figure over me. It squated. It but a fingure to his lips and motioned for Toby to come sit next to me. Afraid he would shoot, Toby reluctantly did what he was told. The figure began to speak. "Shhh, the school is in a lock down" I recongized his voice as Mr. V, our P.E teacher. "Everyone has been called and told not to come to school, but you are already here. There has be a robbery." I gasped. A strong hand covered my mouth.

[wolfgirl159357]

omg soo much suspense please go on.

[Marlee]

Chapter 5:

I looked into Mr.V's blazing eyes.He slowly uncovered my mouth and got up silently. He locked both doors and told me to climb into the hollow inside of the cupboards. I looked at Toby and then at Mr. V. slowly I carfully unlatched the cupboard door, climbed inside after Toby and locked in quietly. Not one second to soon. Immedetly light flooded the room and in walked a tall broad shouldered man with a 38 calever pistol. I hudled closer to the wall of the clammy cupboard. Toby took my place looking out of the little hole.

[wolfgirl159357]

omg go on

[Marlee]

Chapter 6:

I was starting to feel a cramp crawl up my bare leg. The cupboard door rattled, spliting the slience. Toby looked at me helplessly. I turned my head in a quick jerk I heard more foot steps. I moved quietly from where I was sitting and crawled over to my peek hole. Toby moved easily out of the way, I couldn''t see Mr. V. I heard a gun shot and a scream before everything went blank.

[wolfgirl159357]

Omg go on.... This is better then mine

[Marlee]

I woke up. I saw Toby, Mr.V and A large man with a extremely big nose standing over me. The man happened to be Mr. Jakeobsen, The janitor. I sighed and tried to get up. My legs throbbed, I groaned with the agonizing pain. I laid back down. Mr. V leaned down to help me up. I looked at My leg and gasped.