Forever Free(Please read!)

Cowgirls Rule · Joined: 29 Apr 2007 Posts: 10721

So, another one of my stories. Hopefully I can finish this one, lol! So here goes:

Forever Free:

Chapter one- Chills:

My hooves glide along the frosted ground, in sync with others. My nostrils flare, and a puff of vapor appears beneath my muzzle. My tattered and knotted mane flies out beside me. My crystallized forelock hangs heavily by my eye. I look out beyond the crest of the hill, only to find a barren frost land below it.

I snort in dismay as the ground crumbles beneath my feet. My untamed nature attracts mares by the dozen. I flick my tangled tail to ward away invisible flies. I whinny, searching for some sign of existence in this barren waste land. My whinny bounces off hills, echoing in the valley below. I strain for a sound of life, a faint hoof beat, anything. For I can hear none.

My heart plummets in despair. The response of this ice stricken valley strikes fear deep into my heart. For now I really know that I am lost from my own sanity. My eyes roll back into my head, as I quiver in fear. My instincts have failed me once again.

miki911 · Joined: 18 Jul 2008 Posts: 147

Wow! I love it! Its really descriptive.

Cowgirls Rule · Joined: 29 Apr 2007 Posts: 10721

Thanks!

sandtiger · Joined: 30 Jul 2008 Posts: 8581

Oh Wow... That is very descriptive as said earlier and I love how you played the Horse in first person, not third or second, I love it, go on!

Cowgirls Rule · Joined: 29 Apr 2007 Posts: 10721

Thanks! Here's another chapter:

I turn around, and gallop back to where I came from. Hoping that there is more life in that desolate valley than in this abandoned plain. My nostrils flare, picking up the smell of another horse. Possibly a mare, my hopes rise and my heart beats faster. I pick up the pace, going at a hand gallop toward the smell and sounds of hooves bouncing off the sheer granite cliffs beside me.

I finally have reached it, that paradise I thought only existed in my imagination. Lush green fields surround a crystal clear lake connecting to a stream. I whinny in joy and pick my way down the hillside carefully making sure not to trip over something in my haste. My ears prick forward in desperation. My tail swishes flies off of my delicate skin and my ears twitch capturing any slight sound.

In sheer joy in rear up and neigh, only to be accompanied by a shy mare. I nicker and move toward her. She is a dapple with an exquisite mane and tail. I blow outwards, letting her get used to my scent. She does the same to me and I trott off and turn around to see her following me. I whinny in surprise and happiness.