A breath of fresh air.(Wanting opinions!)

[Chloe Taylor]

Talim slipped silently into the world and took a breath of fresh air. Her mother, Ambrosia, sat up and looked at her cubs. She spotted the runt of the litter and automatically knew that this would be the new Queen of the Rose Pride. Ambrosia had given birth to four cubs. Arus, the eldest female, Luka, Shaymen, and Talim. Talim was special because she was a rare white cub. As Ambrosia cleaned the tiny cubs, Talim started to cry for food. Ambrosia let the cubs nurse untill all of them finally fell asleep. The next morning as Ambrosia and her mate, Jasper lead the pride out of their den, four brand new cubs waddled into the open. Talim's father was also white, but Talim had a curtain spark. Her fierce blue eyes and her spoiled temperment meant that she'd curtainly get what she wanted, but she'd have to go through her older brothers and sister first...

Like it? I think it needs improvement but I need you guys to help with that descision!

[Little Red]

This is amazing. Is there any more to it? I love animal and romance stories. lol

[Chloe Taylor]

Sure! I'll try to think of more as fast as I can! I just came up with this at the top of my head!

[Chloe Taylor]

Talim's blue eyes met Shaymen's as they prepared to fight... playfight of course! At nearly two months old, the cubs' claws and teeth have fully grown in. Talim playfully pounced at her brother. Little did she know, Talim would become future queen of her pride. On the other side of the savannah, the Shift pride readied themselves for the day. The pride's leaders, Gregory and Topaz, lead the family of fifteen strong. This season's cubs were strong-willed and ready for action. The oldest cub, Casper, could beat his two younger brothers in a fight at anytime. Where the Shift pride resided wasn't a place to let your gaurd down. The land was harsh and baron and prey was scarce, but every now and then you could catch a weak baboon or a herd of water buffalo. During the breeding season, the grass turned turned green and the herbavores flocked, but it was winter now and all the grazers had migrated. Casper's sharp teeth dug into his brother Gabrielle's tiny ear. Of course Gabrielle fought back, but ended up on the ground again.

More coming soon!

[Chloe Taylor]

(After the first two chapters, I started righting down ideas! It's awsome!)

Ambrosia and Jasper's litter was now a year old. Around this time all four cubs knew how to hunt and could hunt quite well. The two males, Luka and Shaymen would be evicted from the pride and start lives of their own. Talim,her sister, her mother, and other females of the Rose Pride just finished a kill. Earlier this morning, Talim's older brothers were evicted from the pride. She felt no sympathy for the two, as it would make it easier for her to have a successful breeding life. She called for her father to come near. The family sat around the carcass and picked off the fur and ate the meat. The pride left the bones and forgotten flesh to the vultures and hyenas. What the Rose Pride didn't know, was that danger lay too close ahead. For now the family of thirty strong was safe, but will the pride sustain it's numbers?

[Chloe Taylor]

Chapter 4.-A Deadly Decision.

The Shift Pride had finished their chores at the den and needed to hunt. Though males rarely hunt with a pride, Gregory decided to tag along since they were going out for breakfast. With Topaz laeding the group to prey and Gregory trailing behind, scent marking as they go, everything seemed natural untill they spot the Rose Pride. All of the pride's females and cubs lay low behind the tall African grass. Still standing, Gregory would need to decide wether to flee or fight before the enemy saw them. His plan indeed was to fight. He was tired of living in rotten, desolate fields. He wanted to live somewhere nice for a change, where there is plenty of food. Gregory made the warning call.

Jasper returned the warning call along with some 'Back Off!' signals. The lionesses on both sides stood ready for battle. The cubs lay hidden knowing that only one pride could win. Casper was old enough to fight, but to small for this kind of battle. He spotted a beautiful, snow white, princess from the corner of his eye. It was Talim. Talim saw the lowly male as well but paid no mind as she was more worried for the sake of her life.

Not giving up, the Shift Pride moved foward, this time hitting their target. The pride males battled each other as the females gave warnings to each other. Both sides were to busy to notice Casper sneaking off in the direction of Talim. The white princess was in no mood for visitors so she batted at the male's head with her heavy paw, striking blood. Casper gave a hasty retreat as his blood stained Talims coat.

Well thats all for now! I spent ALL night writing this story! Seriously I stayed up till 2:50 AM to wright this story on lined paper and on here! Trust me. It isn't all that easy lol!

The fifth chapter will come after I get some brain food lol. And some well earned sleep.

[Chloe Taylor]

Chapter 5. A One Year Old Queen.

As Casper exited the den, he saw nothing but blood. He saw his family in the distance, bloody and limping. He raced out into the feilds to greet his family. In the confusion of the battle, no one had noticed Casper sneaking off and so now he reaked of enemy. The pride's females, wouldn't let Casper come near, but where was Gregory? Where was Topaz? Casper finally figured that his parents were dead, but sadly, so were Talim's.

Being the only male left in the pride, Casper would take control. They would have to take shelter nearby as everyone was too weak to move.

Talim lef the den and saw her father's massive white body, laying lifeless and covered in blood. Laying next to him was Ambrosia. Talim gave a call but only heard her older sister, Arus. Arus limped back alone. It looks like Talim was the new 'Queen of the Rose Pride'. She sat atop a large rock with a look of distress across her face. Just a few hours ago, her family was happily eating their meal. Now, she was all alone with her single sister.

[shaggydoggy]

WOW Chloe your amazing at thsi write more plz lol i LOVE it

[Chloe Taylor]

Well I've written more, it's just that I'm too lazy to post it. I'm thinkin on publishing it so.... anyways I'll get the other chapters posted as soon as I feel like it lol. I'm on chapter nine now but very stuck...

[Lil*Angel]

lol at the first part
and
its okay! =D

[Chloe Taylor]

lol. After I can figure how to finish chapter 9, I'll post the rest!

[Little Red]

This is amazing!

[Chloe Taylor]

thx.