The lost dog

[Furry friends]

This story is about an abandoned dog who lost his owners in a snowstorm.

Once long ago a farmer and his wife lived on a small ranch it was very peacefull out there in the country side, but there was one thing missing, the farmer felt that his wife would feel a little lonely while he was at work so he went to the marketplace and didn't return untill sundown. He was carrying a small box that was large enough for a small fox cub to curl up in. He walked toward the house and gave the box to his wife, she lifted the lid off in wonder of what her husband had brought. She looked down in shock to see a small Dalmatian pup yawing and wagging it's tail at her.
"John! He's wonderfull!" she said.
"Glad you like him darling" said the farmer. Darling named the pup Domino and treated him very well. She gave him treats and took him on long walks, but then oneday sometime in winter a horrible snowstorm came to the valley and covered everything in its path with a thick white blanket. When the farmer and his wife Darling went to collect the chicken eggs together they were supprised when a slight avalanche closed them in the chicken's coup! Domino could only watch in horror, his owners were trapped under 10 feet of snow and ice! Something snapped inside of him all too suddenly as he ran to the village to get help, when he reached the village, half dead from hunger he struggled and stuggled untill finally he managed to rang the alarm bell untill all the villagers followed him back to the farm, when they discovered the chicken coop they started digging away trying to reach the couple that were burried beneath the snow. Would they reach them intime to save them from the clutches of death? When they finaaly dug out the coop and entered it they found the farmer and his wife dead and huddled in each other's arms, they were too late. Domino wandered the streets for months after that living off free samples and half eaten trash, but there was another thing he had to worry about, the world was now against him and all the dog catchers were his foe. When it rained he hid in the junkyard and when it was sunny he hid near the cemetary by his master's graves. Then one day he was caught by the dog cater on his daily round, he took domino to the pound to be checked and put up for adoption. Domino thought he'd never find a loving family, that is untill a man, his wife and kids came through the door and ran straight toward Domino, they adopted him and gave him a new name, his new name was Cosmic and he lived happily on a ranch chasing chickens, bothering horses and laying out lasily in the cool shade on hot days. He lived there untill he sadly died, the owners burried him in the pet cemetary saying how lucky they were to find a dog like this.

The end.

[Cecelia]

Its a good idea but it seems like things happen too quickly. Possibly you could add more details about how they cared for them what his life was like with the first family, maybe add some more details about his trip to the village. The peoples reactions when they began to follow him back home, how the new family knew that he was the dog for them. Why they changed his name, what was similar in how they cared for him as the first family did. Maybe describe his appearance a bit more if he had any special or peculiar markings. And maybe a bit more details of his death. Pretty good story but it would be even better if it was tweaked a bit and changed into paragraph form eventually.So this is my critique. Please continue writing and feel free to pm me anytime - Cecelia~thellamallady~