I have to share...

[Vitani]

I haven't played properly in almost a month, but I'm back now, sort of...Probably a little sketchy at first. My apologies to anybody thats been patiently waiting on trades, sales, breeds, messages etc...My head hasn't been very with it lately

I know how many people say that the loss of an animal is just that, and shouldn't be taken to heart...And while I've never agreed that the life of a pet is somehow worth less than a family member, since thats what they are, I always felt that when nature takes its course, its somehow easier to take...
But when you have to make the choice to end that life, your heart goes someplace else...As a pet owner its our responsibility to provide the best care we possibly can to the animals we select to share our lives with us - even if that means making the transition to a better place for them...
But when its not even your animal.....Its hard

To try an explain it...

My Aunt had a very sweet kitty, Jasmine. When my Aunt got a German Shepherd, Jasmines care passed to my Grandmother who lived with my Aunt.....Her life became restricted to my Grandmothers bedroom, and the front yard via the window...At the age of 10, her life was narrowed and her freedoms greatly reduced....Only able to wander in the house and enjoy the comforts of many different laps to sit on when Abby ( GS ) was away for the odd weekend, etc...And while we felt sorry for her, she seemed happy enough to just lounge around and become a butter-ball...
In March this year my Aunt moved to the U.K, intending to stay a few years and come back but could not take Abby with her...She was rehomed via the German Shepherd Rescue Trust and is blissfully happy belonging to a Vet and ex Police dog handler...So it was sad but we are happy for her. Jasmine, along with my Grandmother, came to live with us...A pretty big upheavel for a now 18 year old cat...
Within 2 weeks, Queen Jas as she was now dubbed lol, was ruling the house with an iron paw...Bullying my dog and cat to the extreme and being very demanding but in that adorable way that you had to give in and give her what she wanted...So we settled into a routine and everyone was more or less happy. She got to enjoy almost complete freedom, she had run of the house, constant attention etc etc, but we weren't able to let her go outside because each time we tried, she tried to bolt. But again, she seemed happy enough to be waited on hand and paw
In October...She woke up one morning and just wasn't herself. Still sweet and affectionate and demanding, but slower to react to our voice, extra jumpy and VERY aggressive towards the other two...Flying into a hissing, spitting rage and trying to rip them to shreds if they so much as entered the same room. Vet checked her out, said her blood pressure was a little high, but was otherwise in perfect health, better even than some cats half her age. He said sometimes they "go a bit funny" as they age, and to just make allowances for it, which we did...
November rolled around and we'd again established a peaceable routine, and she didnt have as many 'episodes' of rage...But became more and more picky about her food and the weight dropped off...And while she was still doing the things an active cat does, and looked healthy apart from being thin, was as delicate as a butterfly to pick up....Again, vet checked her out, gave her some supplements, tablets for her blood pressure but a general all clear...
December arrived, and Jasmine was a shadow of her former self. Would only accept hand-fed tidbits, but still drinks, toilets, and adores attention, requesting in her very distinctive voice for more pats, NOW if we stopped, but spent her days sleeping, and sleeping, and sleeping, waking only to request some attention or food. Our house grew very quiet, the other two were banned from coming inside, and we waited. And hoped. And tried to make life as easy and comfortable as possible. The week before Christmas, she started to wobble when walking...Would meow, and spend a long time coming when we called. Still tried to do all her favourite things but very slowly, cautiously and had to be helped. Then, she started bumping into things...We called the vet, spent the weekend devoting all of our time to her, reminding her that she was a Queen in kitty pajamas and on Monday the 22nd, took her in....In the course of less than a month she had gone completely blind and although she seemed happy enough, she would have eventually injured herself with the way she was walking into walls, and still trying to jump off beds etc....So three days before Christmas, she was put to sleep, still purring like mad until the sedation kicked in...
She would have been 19 on New Years day...And we miss her terribly. We've been remembering the funny times, her little habits, laughing about her antics and discussing our favourite memories. She's the only cat I've ever known who face-planted when sleeping...



And I know I've rambled on for a really long time but...I'm just sad, and will be for awhile. My Aunt is really cut up because we, at least, got to say goodbye...

I hope they have heaters and cuddly laps over the rainbow bridge...



I can't get over the guilt of ending her life merely because she'd lost her vision I keep trying to tell myself that for the 9 months we had her, she had an enjoyable time and more freedoms than she'd had in the last 7 years but...

[Cecelia]

I'm so sorry Tani. She was such a pretty kitty I can only imagine how hard it must be for you so far when my animals have died it has been the natural way. Just keep reflectin gon the good times you had with Queen Jas and don't be so hard on yourself about whether you made the right decision or not. We know one thing for sure though. She is pain free right now and will never suffer in any way again. Hope you feel better soon. *hugs*
Cecelia~thellamallady~

[rockyBalboa]

Oh my! I finished your story, reached up to get my hair out of my eyes and found tears on my face! I am so incredibly sorry!! That is so hard.I remember letting go of my kitten...though not quite in the same way (got run over by a truck right in front of me). Extended grief periods are completely fine, and I think that if you don't at least grieve as much as you did then...well don't get me started on that. But anyway, i am rambling. just wanted to say i am sorry, and to say what a precious cat! She looks so sweet. Hang in there! *hugs*!
rB

[Autumn121]

im so sorry tani

[A. L. Aljan]

I'm sorry for your loss, Vitani. I had to put my Flame Point Himalayan, Fred (the reason Himalayans and Flame Points were created on this game, as a matter of fact), and he was just shy of 20. He'd also lost his vision, and when I was forced to move back to Illinois, I had to put him down, too. I knew that between his blindness and renal failure, it would be too much for him to habdle re-learning another house. It was, by far, the WORST part of the divorce.

It never gets easier, but I suppose making a decision that we know is the right one is a small price to pay for the love these furbabies of ours give us over the course of their lives. There's nothing I wouldn't give to NEVER have to make that decision again!

Again, I'm really sorry and I hope that your heart heals as soon as it can.


~ Amanda @ Aljan

[Vitani]

Thanks guys...

She really was a darling, even when being terribly bossy lol...I still catch myself listening out for the tinkle of her trotting down the hallway to demand some of my breakfast in the morning...

And keep forgetting I don't need to close the front door all the time...

And sometimes, I swear I hear her meow, and find myself waiting for the soft brush of fur against my leg...


Funny how something thats wild in its heart of hearts, manages to convince us to completely dote on it with just a look...

[Drmchaser]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, even though she wasn't your kitty, she was still a part of your family. I don't know what I will do when it comes time for my two to leave. They are only 2 and 3, so I know I have a long time yet with them. You did the right thing by letting her go. She was suffering, more than likely was in pain and I know you feel bad about having to do it, it wasn't because she was blind, you let her go because her quality of life wasn't going to be very good as she was pretty old and it really isn't fair to let them suffer. I feel the same as you do about my cats being a part of my family, they are my babies and just remember her good times and that she is waiting for you at the rainbow bridge and is happy and not in pain anymore, she can see again and is running around and playing with the other animals at the bridge.

[Korikat]

I always get all choked up hearing stories like this. I can't imagine how hard it must be to not only make such a decision but to carry it out. I've had a number of animal companions in my life--several dogs and lots of cats (as well some random others from rabbits to hermit crabs). Some were purchased from breeders, some were given to us by friends, and some quite simply adopted us. Some lived in the house with us, others were the out-doors-y type. Regardless, each and every one has held a special place in my heart, I've considered them all furry friends, and each loss [/i]hurts.

Somehow I've managed to never have to be present for the death of any of my dear pets. I've seen them age, seen them slow down, known it was coming, but I've never actually been there. The closest I've come was last year when Red--a wonderful, old gentle giant of a dog who showed up, quite literally, on our doorstep one day and decided to stay--suddenly got sick. He got very weak and started refusing all but hand-fed hot dogs. A few days later, he was gone. During those few days, I went out to see how he was doing, see if he would eat something, and it broke my heart to sit there with him and pet him and know that it might be the last time. And if I'd been there when he died...

Anyway, I've turned this into a long ramble about myself, which I didn't intend to do... But what I was trying to say with all this rambling, is that I admire the strength it takes to do what's best, no matter how hard it may be, to bring an end to a pets suffering and to be there with them, giving them your love and attention, right to the last.

They say "If you love someone, set them free." I think the same applies to our pets. It takes an incredible amount of love to let them go like this...

I wish you all the best. *hugs*