Were

[Fiddle]

I've been doing this as a manga in my free time, but I also wanted to write it up. So here it is, the first part of 'Were'.
Note: This is my style at it's best, not it's usual.
Please let me know how I went, though I have many ideas for this, I'm happy to take any suggestions/ideas on board.

WERE:
Part 1
From Home to Him.


The ice lands of Eurasia, across the Himalayans, blizzards were raging. The dark night sky -though darkness did not discriminate against time now- shattered with snow, dropping like stones from the black clouds. The mountains felt as much like an abyss as the ranges of the sky, feet weary, and knees cold the perpetual sinking. Although, he thought, it’s not perpetual he could stop, and die. He pressed his lips at the thought, forcing his optimism to keep him going. The only material on his slender body was a large blanket he had cut a hole in for his head to poke through. Now it felt like a burden. It protected his fragile skin from the burn of ice, but it weighed him down and never ceased to attack his movements-which were already staggered and hard.
“Damn…” He muttered to no one. His voice, after so long of nothing but great howling of the elements, was a comfort to his ears, piercing through it all like a needle. The rod of sound making him almost jump, for although it was he who spoke it, the great lack of it surprised his ears.
“…This cold.” He concluded with eyes half closed. His golden ears were pressed to his hair, equal in colour. It flew across and around his face; the length which he had never minded was finally a nuisance to him as much as the disapproving adults around him. They had been of olden values, and would die if they saw him now. Blonde hair down just past the shoulders deserved scolding, so what would they do about his half naked body out in a blizzard? Probably ask how he survived…
He knew there was an easier way, but he didn’t want to give in to it. It scared him. The ears, the tail, the paws, why were they there? Nobody else looked like he did. He just hoped that it’d be easier to disguise it in Asia than Norway. Where he hoped they would just think it was a thing that foreigners all had. But he wasn’t so sure; all the Norwegians knew what the Asians looked like, why would the Asians not know how similar they were?
He collapsed to his knees, a mix of despair, confusion and exhaustion finally making him stop. He felt like breaking down, but stopped himself, his furred feet kept his toes warm, and the blowing blanket had landed beneath his knees. He was barely grateful for these comforts, more concerned with his sad thoughts. He’d never been strong inside, but had never been weak, either. As he opened his eyes again to the cold, they saw no snow, no ice, just the sky, the eternal darkness stretching on and on. His body- the weakest it had ever been- gave way, and he feel forward, without feeling a thing.

[ghgfgfgfhgf]

OOH interesting i wanna here more

[Knight]

hope ur up for some constructive critism...
i thought the plot was pretty good...although u could give a few more details...u kno some foreshadowing...also i got lost a few times there in the begining...u should be a bit more specific as to wat ur writing about. For example, u began a sentence talking about the mountains and went into talking about the guy, 2 completely dif subjects in 1 sentence...it was...confusing to read....please don't take offense to any of this...i'm just trying to help...good luck...keep writing! u have talent. if u keep urself organized and really pay attention to wat ur writing u could make it so much better. I think that's it. I'll be interested to see more of wat u write...
-Knight