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Cinquain ^^

 
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Sterling



Joined: 14 Aug 2007
Posts: 2790

PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 6:01 pm    Post subject: Cinquain ^^ Reply with quote

I'm uber bored, so I tried a new type of poem. It's called a Cinquain [pronounced 'sin'- 'cane']. Here's what I wrote, this took about 7mins:

Snowflake
Almost looking fake,
On their way down grey skies.
The smiles they bring do surprise.
Snowflake

I can write ONE for someone, if anyone's interested. Comments would be nice, constructive critism would be great.

Sterling
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~!pink-bubbles!~



Joined: 20 Jul 2008
Posts: 30

PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 9:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really like your cinquain Sterling but to make it even better you should try to extend the vocabulary in it. Thenit would be even better!!! Very Happy Very Happy
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Cecelia



Joined: 16 Dec 2006
Posts: 1487

PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 6:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

~!pink-bubbles!~ wrote:
I really like your cinquain Sterling but to make it even better you should try to extend the vocabulary in it. Thenit would be even better!!! Very Happy Very Happy


ditto! Very Happy
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ghgfgfgfhgf



Joined: 26 Nov 2008
Posts: 18

PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 5:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ummm kinda short Sad
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Knight



Joined: 08 Aug 2008
Posts: 70

PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 8:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ghgfgfgfhgf wrote:
ummm kinda short Sad

cinquains are not supposed to be long. They are meant to have that exact # of lines. Sorry, not trying to sound like a know-it-all or anything bad if that's how it seems. Just tryin to give some info to a friend.
It was an ok poem...could be a lot better if u didn't just jot something down really quick...like some others said, better vocab use would make it a lot better sounding. One other thing...the last line should be a synonym for the 1st line, not the exact same word. Again, not trying to sound like a know-it-all, just trying to help.
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Decoy



Joined: 03 Apr 2009
Posts: 22

PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 5:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I liked that poem, and I would write more.
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