A true story

[mash]

I'm going to tell you the story of my Toby. Some of you may have heard (seen) me talking about him before. For those who don't know, he was a rescue horse which I loved and miss dearly.

TOBY R.I.P baby

I met Toby almost 6 years ago now. I'd started a animal course at a local animal sanctuary. Whenever anyone talked of Toby it was always with dread. I'd never seen the horse as he was almost always up the fields.
After I'd been at the sanctuary for a while I finally met Toby. When I first saw him he was dragging some poor kid down the fields. As I hadn't had much dealing with horses in the past I stayed well away from that horse.
The worker finally managed to get Toby down from the fields and stabled. I later found out that this poor unfortunate soul was having a riding lesson on Toby. Oh dear, this should be interesting....
As Toby was being tacked up I went over to him and stroked him. (A huge achievement for me) He looked at me with those huge, gentle looking eyes and whinnied. He had me at that point. I'd fallen. I watched him being ridden and saw how stubborn he was.
After being at the sanctuary for about a year I plucked up the courage to ask for a riding lesson. I wanted to ride Toby but as I wasn't experienced I wasn't allowed. So I started on one of the R.D.A horses. When I'd mastered riding a little better I was allowed to ride Toby.
Hmm. Lets just say he taught me to hold my seat more than ANY riding instructor could. I ended up on my backside more times than I care to remember. However, I formed a bond with this horse, and even though he was a older horse I started doing some clicker training with him and he improved massivly (only with me though).
I asked the owners of the sanctuary about Toby and found out that in his younger days he was quite a good dressage pony. He definatly didn't look the part of a dressage pony. He was a stumpy, barrel shaped, bad tempered old git. But I saw some old video's and couldn't believe that he actually WON dressage competitions.
He apparently came to the sanctuary years before as a unwanted pet. As he was still quite young at the time the owners of the sanctuary decided that the best thing for him was to sell him to someone who could work him.
After he'd been at his new home for a while the sanctuary was "tipped off" that Toby had been sold to a riding school. So being a animal sanctuary and keeping a check on the animals that are rehomed they went to see his new home.
Apparently it was awful. Toby was skin and bones. Upturned brooms were placed around his stable and he was terrified to move. The owners of the sanctuary even said that he started crying when he saw them. At that point the sanctuary bought him back. Got him back to full health and then I met him a few years later.
Toby was always scared of brooms, and now I knew why. After he was bought back to the sanctuary he only bonded to one person. The sanctuary owners daughter. He would apparently do anything for her. Tragically she died a number of years ago and since then no one was able to get near Toby.
After that first riding lesson me and Toby went on our own special journey. He tought me all he could about riding and I tought him to trust again. Our bond became so strong that he would only let me pick his feet, or bring him down from the fields, and even though he was scared of brooms, he didn't seem so scared if I was using one nearby, but anyone else, he'd try and bite or kick out at them.
Unfortunatly by this point Toby was becoming a old man. He was retired from riding and just lived out his days at the sanctuary. In the spring of 2004 he became very ill. He lost weight, fur, condition, and worst of all his fire. The vet wanted to put him to sleep straight away, however we decided to go for the medication option, afterall if there's a chance why not try?
The medication worked thankfully. He was never 100% back to his normal self but the fire was back. He lived healthily for a number of months and even tought one of our yearlings some manners. Then in September 2005 he had a eye problem and became almost completely blind.
He relied on me heavily to guide him in and out of his stable and to reasure him. He was still very happy. Towards the end of September he started to become old and frail. He was going downhill very rapidly. I knew that the time was getting ever closer that I was going to have to say goodbye.
Then one day in October 2005, he'd 'gone down' in his field and just couldn't get up. As soon as I saw him I knew the time had come. The vet was called, and I suppose I was hoping beyond hope that the vet could give Toby some miracle drug to make him well again. When the vet arrived my worst fears were realised. There was no hope, he'd become so weak that he'd given up on even trying to get up by himself. He'd gave up living.
The vet got out his bag and drew the euthinazia into the syringe. I knelt beside Toby and lay with him whilst the vet injected him. I told him I loved him as his eyes closed forever. Never again showing me that fire I so loved.
The next 20 minuits were a blur. I lay with him telling him I loved him all the time. I didn't want to leave him in this cold damp field all alone. My manager had to drag me away.
I cried for 3 days straight, and felt so lost. Until about a week after, I looked up the fields and swear I saw him looking at me, nodding his head. When I looked back he was gone. This could have been my mind playing tricks on me. I'd prefere to think that he'd come back to show me he was ok and healthy now and not to grieve so much. I smiled, nodded to myself and carried on with my life.
I will never forget Toby. He was a stubborn, bad tempered, old git, but I loved him so much. I've never been able to bond to a horse since, I just don't think any horse would be able to take the place of Toby in my heart.

Sweet dreams my baby. I will see you again.

R.I.P Toby

mash

[Drmchaser]

ooohhh thanks for sharing that, it is so sad but it's good that Toby got to live out the rest of his life in peace and comfort and knowing there was someone there that loved him.

[mash]

Thanks Drmchaser. I made sure that his last days were the best I could manage.