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Do u like my story |
Fantastic |
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30% |
[ 3 ] |
Yes |
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10% |
[ 1 ] |
no |
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60% |
[ 6 ] |
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Total Votes : 10 |
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odinsdottir
Joined: 12 Sep 2007 Posts: 2856
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Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 5:58 pm Post subject: |
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MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
*happy again*
odinsdottir |
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Demitra
Joined: 29 Sep 2007 Posts: 1125
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Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 6:00 pm Post subject: |
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still 2007 here too and i am giving out free cookies AND milk to everyone and happy new year to everyone whether it already passed or not |
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ChocolateGal
Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Posts: 1868
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Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 7:01 pm Post subject: |
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ummm. i don't know why this is turning into a disco but..... HELLO Everyone?!? I was getting some sleep You need it trust me!! (Hehhee lol) ANyway Happy NEW Year Everyone!!! |
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Demitra
Joined: 29 Sep 2007 Posts: 1125
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Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 7:24 pm Post subject: |
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its 8:24 right at this moment here |
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I_Like_Meerkats
Joined: 20 Oct 2007 Posts: 512
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Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 8:49 pm Post subject: |
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9:49P.M. Over Here |
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DesertBabyz
Joined: 21 Dec 2007 Posts: 25
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Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 10:44 pm Post subject: |
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11:43 here! (eyes hurt, but PAR-TAY!!!) |
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ChocolateGal
Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Posts: 1868
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Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 12:36 am Post subject: |
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well it was about 11am in the morning when i wrote that but now it's 5:00 pm |
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ChocolateGal
Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Posts: 1868
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Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 12:42 am Post subject: |
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Sterling wrote: | >.< I knew that looked wrong. Thanks for telling me.
Actually, I do know how to take people's feelings well. You just don't know how to take critisism. You could have told PinkStar how she 'put too much effort into things' in a MUCH nicer way. But, you didn't. Oh, and now, you're on the internet. Nothing on that post could have been so important to risk your internet privlages.
If you don't like writing it, don't write it!! And, every word? Drama, much? I have said quite a few things to you that weren't crisism. You really need to focus on the good things and quit sobbing in the bad. If you want some help with your story, I can help. Just pm me, and I can give you some tips to make it better. As long as the word 'streighten' isn't in there. >.< lol.
I'm really sorry I hurt your feelings. I really didn't mean to.. |
And that hurt my feelings again. No i don't want help i want you to say wherther it's good enough or where i might need to streghten up in. Ican do it myself. I wrote an essay last year to go in a comp around the WORLD and i was the only one in my school and 1/11 in the state to get an award received. and yes it did mean i got money. So if im that stupid to write. Maybe you could tell me that not just hint it |
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ChocolateGal
Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Posts: 1868
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Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 12:44 am Post subject: |
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oh yeah i've written another chapter:
The adventure she had while walking to the city was quite extraordinary and almost too magical to believe. And this in how it happened.
Seconds turned into minutes and minutes turned into hours before Mara met anyone. A small figure appeared in the distance and steadily came into view. It was a man wearing a dusty poker-dot shirt covered by broken blue overalls. The man wasn’t waring any shoes but blocks of wood carved into the shape of a sole. On the top of the wood was a bands of leather firmly stuck on. He was travelling on a pair of shire horses pulling a large wooden cart loaded with items Mara had see in the mansion over many years. The cart drew closer and the man’s face grew frightened. For a single moment Mara didn’t know why he was alarmed but then she shooed the birds off her body so they flew above her. The cart slowed down and then stopped in front of Mara and the man looked down from on top of the horse. Now she saw the man was about 60 years old and not one scratch marked his face. Mara looked up to him and smiled politely, “Excuse me Mr, but how far is it to the nearest town?” The man smiled at her with a withered expression on his face. Mara couldn’t keep down her questions down and before he could reply, Mara burst out, “How old are you? Why aren’t you scratched? Where did you come from? What is your name and what’s in the cart?” The man beamed down at her and started to speak, “Eh, you’re a little talker, ain’t yer? I’d say another 3 miles until yer get to Penkash. Ay, me is 65 coming on 70. I come from Marlsberg close to yer Penkash deliverin’ food supplies to Mr. H Church,” Mara almost jumped back in horror as she realised that this poor man was delivering food for the last time. “Yer ok Ms?” he asked doubtfully. “Y-you is g-g-going where?” Mara stuttered. “Mr H Church, and by the look on your face you look like you’re his niece, Mara, whatever is wrong,” the old man continued. Mara paused and then looked up into his weary eyes, “You’re going to be killed,” she said tears brimming into her eyes. “Neh, don’t yer see that I haven’t any markings on me face, that’s cause me horses can do this,” Mara couldn’t move her feet and watched horrified as the horses skin began to turn silver and bubble up until it formed steel amour enclosing the horses body in a strong metal with huge sharp spikes protruded from the grey steel. On the horses head grew a helmet with only holes for eyes. Mara gave out a cry of alarm and shrank back. “Ay they not goin’ to hurt you it’s just a protection cause now a warble snorter will take charge of the horses” the old man continued, “oh where are me manners, I’m Edwards, Todd Edwards” he leaned down and then suddenly the fruit and vegetables began to rise and a humongous creature emerged covered in a green skin, protruding from it’s head were two perfectly round eyes that looked quizzically down at her, two holes for nostrils and a mouth which was now smiling down at her. Mara now understood that this was a warble snorter. Todd looked at her bearing all his white teeth, and all he said was, “Meet Gerald.”
Well is that any better |
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Sterling
Joined: 14 Aug 2007 Posts: 2790
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Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 11:05 am Post subject: |
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ChocolateGal wrote: | Sterling wrote: | >.< I knew that looked wrong. Thanks for telling me.
Actually, I do know how to take people's feelings well. You just don't know how to take critisism. You could have told PinkStar how she 'put too much effort into things' in a MUCH nicer way. But, you didn't. Oh, and now, you're on the internet. Nothing on that post could have been so important to risk your internet privlages.
If you don't like writing it, don't write it!! And, every word? Drama, much? I have said quite a few things to you that weren't crisism. You really need to focus on the good things and quit sobbing in the bad. If you want some help with your story, I can help. Just pm me, and I can give you some tips to make it better. As long as the word 'streighten' isn't in there. >.< lol.
I'm really sorry I hurt your feelings. I really didn't mean to.. |
And that hurt my feelings again. No i don't want help i want you to say wherther it's good enough or where i might need to streghten up in. Ican do it myself. I wrote an essay last year to go in a comp around the WORLD and i was the only one in my school and 1/11 in the state to get an award received. and yes it did mean i got money. So if im that stupid to write. Maybe you could tell me that not just hint it |
I pmed you. I think others have seen enough. T.T |
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Demitra
Joined: 29 Sep 2007 Posts: 1125
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Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 12:24 pm Post subject: |
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ummmmm..........yeah |
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cutepony
Joined: 05 Dec 2007 Posts: 90
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Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 3:25 pm Post subject: |
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deep breath every1!!!!! there we go! chocolate girl calm down, i think your story is just brilliant! i love it and u hav a great way or putting a pen to paper (or in this case, finger to key!) Pinkstar u calm down 2! ye are both getting upset over nothing! plz sort it out and come back happy and friends!!! New year, new start!
PS I dont want to offend any1 in this post! |
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ChocolateGal
Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Posts: 1868
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Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 6:25 pm Post subject: |
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*claps* thankyou, thankyou, thankyou cutepony!!! finally a positive comment!!!!! *gives great big hug and batch of cookies* |
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Demitra
Joined: 29 Sep 2007 Posts: 1125
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Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 6:26 pm Post subject: |
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i think you did a great job too |
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ChocolateGal
Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Posts: 1868
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Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 7:15 pm Post subject: |
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THanks *makes another big batch of cookies and gives a great big hug*!!!!! |
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