I wrote this a while ago

[nos1]

Any comments/critisism?

If I close my eyes
I close my eyes,
We drift away,
Nothing exists, night nor day.
I know you but you’re never the same.
Why can I never hear your name?

Distant dream.
Yet I’ve known you so long,
I reach out to touch you but you’re gone.
Always too far away to see,
For me to know what you mean to me.

Please! Stay! Why must you always drift away?
I long to feel the warmth of your touch,
The gentle hands I’ve learnt to love so much,
But will you ever touch me so?
Because the features of your face I shall never know.

If I close my eyes we are together.
We float above the well known lands,
We’re hovering over the empty sands,
And for a single moment I can trace you.
Aware of every breath, everything you do.

I feel you, smell you:
Bitter sweet,
As your lips brush mine.

You tease me.

One last breath,
I hold you within,
And I feel the harsh sands beneath me like a drawing pin.

Real. Your gone.

Never leaving a date for your return,
But I cling on.
I search for your name.

I cannot let go
Of the shapeless form, I wish…
I’m sure that I should know.

© by nos1 posted 04/12/2007 to Sandbox farm forum

[Leopardstorm]

I love it so much!

That is what you call a great poem!

[Sterling]

WOW! I love it tons!!

[nos1]

thanks

[Demitra]

great job!

[nos1]

i wish i knew why people rated 4 and 5

i'd rather get critisisms so i can improve it then just that

[PinkStar]

kool!!

[Fallen Angel]

[nos1]

yeah probably and thanks!

[Charlie1]

One word

Excellent!